THE "SYSTEM" GIVES YOU THE WINNING EDGE WITH WOMEN - PART ONE - by Success Coach

Guys, are you dating someone special and you don't want to lose her like all the others? Are you getting bad vibes because your girlfriend of six months only gets migraines when you try to kiss her goodnight at her doorstep? Does it bother you that your wife is meeting too many perverts in chat rooms on the Internet?

And to you Moms: Do you have a good son or nephew with a big heart and a big job but he is an idiot with women? Is your overgrown baby on his third divorce and hasn't a clue? Do half of your grandkids live in another state with bikers, drinking Coors instead of milk?

If these apply to you, you're in luck, because there is a new sheriff in town.

Do you know what men do that women don't? They fight reality in two areas of their lives. One, they don't ask for directions when lost; and two, more importantly, they think that all women are illogical and inconsistent. But these men never ask themselves: "Why is it that certain guys never seem to get rejected by women or face Divorce Court?" or: "Could I be repeating mistakes from woman to woman that I am not aware of?" or the best: "Is it possible that women's choices in men are consistent?"

Successful men know that happiness in romantic relationships is not due to luck - it's due to using reliable principles and having a plan. Bill Gates doesn't "wing it" when deciding which software market to enter - he has a business plan. If you want to be successful in your long-term romantic relationship, you can't leave them up to chance, or to astrology, or to the other love doctors who all come from a female perspective - you need a plan to help you keep Miss Right mesmerized. The principles that you will get from my column will guide you the way a Thomas Bros. Map guides a U.P.S. driver to his destination. Guys, if what you've tried with women is only driving your emotions around in circles and bringing you pain instead of ecstasy, allow my principles be your roadmap instead.

The first concept that I will define is what I call The Reality Factor. It says: "Things are the way they are. If you go against reality, reality works against you, resulting in pain." For example, let's say that you decided one day that there is no Gravity, so you jump off the Empire State Building. While in the air, you can believe what you want, but when you hit the pavement, you will realize that you went against reality, resulting in extreme bodily pain. Or another example: You speed down the 5 Freeway at 120 mph at 2 a.m. with the lights off, the Reality Factor says you will experience the pain of having to defend yourself in court. Or another example: your female dates ask you to call back before the date to "verify," and for some strange reason, these "call back to verify" dates only end with the dual pains of frustration and disappointment.

Men in successful relationships move with reality, they don't fight it. Men, who constantly experience the pangs of rejection, propose marriage on the first date - over and over and over again.

Rejection, man's most despised emotion, is the woman's way of telling you, "You turn me off." Read this column every week and you will never go through this painful experience again, because from now on, the Reality Factor will be your friend, not your nemesis.

The kissing cousin of the Reality Factor is the Bottom Line Factor, which states that: "Only a woman's actions truly reflect her feelings toward you." Men who are ignorant of this powerful concept rationalize a woman's slights and put-downs. For example, let's say Caprice breaks a date with Tom. That week, Tom thinks up 144 possible rosy scenarios of why she broke her word. He didn't think of Reaso
145, the only one that counts, which states that Caprice has zero interest in him (Dating Rule No. 1: Women with high Interest always keep dates.).

The Bottom Line Factor also says that if Tom were reflective and had thought about it, he would have asked himself how many dates he has broken in his life. Answer? (Hint: less than one.) If, after some psychological detective work, Tom had discovered that Caprice broke the date because her father did not give her a bicycle on her tenth birthday like he had promised; it still wouldn't have made a difference. The Bottom Line Factor says that if she breaks the date, she is not interested in Tom. Sadly, most men call back for another beating rather than utilize The Bottom Line Factor.

If you never want to be a guest on the Jerry Springer show, then allow me protect your heart. If you are a guy who wants to keep Miss Right forever, and not share her with her good-looking boss or lose her in divorce court - then please allow me to be your relationship coach.

So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question - one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security tha
Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and don't ramble. Visit me at www.doclove.com or 800-404-2644.

In this article, we covered my definitions of the Reality Factor and The Bottom Line Factor, which support my approach to successful relationships. In next week's article, I will cover the three factors that make or break a successful long-term romantic relationship.

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