Hi Doc,

I need help on how to approach a woman at my college. Her name is Elizabeth and I wish to ask her out to dinner, but I am worried that she will say no. Why? Because a man at her church prophesized to her that she would marry a preacher some day and travel the world with him, and she believes him. The problem is: I don't fit either of these qualifications.

I also go to a church that accepts prophecy, but I also believe that you shouldn't limit yourself to what another human has told you, because in the end, no one, except for God, really knows what will happen to us in the future. Nevertheless, I'm sure that Elizabeth is only looking for someone who fits the preacher and world traveler categories.

On the bright side, Elizabeth had invited me numerous times to go to church with her. When she did, I was always unable to go - that is, until last Sunday, when I showed up at her church without telling her.

When she saw me there in the pews, she ran to me while the choir was singing and laid a big hug on me. I know it's possible that I'm confusing her love for God for feelings toward me, but this seems like a strong sign. What do you think, Doc?

You've got to help me with this one, Doc. This girl is definitely wife and mother material and I would never forgive myself if I screwed this up.

Thanks for all your help.

Warren - who wants to know if love is in his future

Hi Warren,

Sure, it's possible that Elizabeth's a Missionary Girl - a female who acts like she's interested in a man, but in reality, is only gathering souls for her church - but there's another possibility: she might be saving your soul - and the rest of you - for herself!

Warren, you need a surefire way to determine this girl's true agenda. Don't know how? Have no fear - that's why I'm here. Just follow me, and I will lead you to the Promised Land!

The best way to learn if a woman has romantic feelings for you is to ask for her home phone number. Why? Because it forces her to answer the question: "Are you willing to allow me to bring happiness into your life, or is your interest in me just an Academy Award Performance?" - without you having to ask it. It compels her to put a grade on her romantic feelings toward you - and verbalize that grade to your face. Is this valuable stuff or what!

This beauty of this approach is its ability to cut through the smokescreen. By being so direct, 97% of the woman cannot wiggle out of confessing their true Interest Level to you (The exception are beautiful women - they have so much experience with guys coming onto them that many have learned how to fake high interest, even when being cross-examined).

Warren, taking the direct approach saves you time and money (not to mention, it makes you look confident). I know you are worried that Elizabeth would say no if you were direct with her, but if she had low Interest Level, isn't it better to find out now rather than after paying for her expensive dinners? Of course it is.

You had another opportunity to discover Elizabeth's true intentions when she asked you to go to church with her. You could have countered her offer with, "Sure, and after that I'll take you out to lunch and a movie." If she went along with your counteroffer, there would be hope, but if she had stammered or said no, then she considers you a "friend" - the worst name any woman could call you!

Though you didn't take these opportunities, Warren, you did two other great things. First: instead of leaping at her first invitation, you hung back. This showed self-control and Challenge (most guys in your shoes would have bowed down and kissed her toe-ring out of gratitude). Second, you accepted her invitation by showing up to the church unannounced. This was a great move. It showed guts - and guts are part of a man's confidence.

The fact that you and Elizabeth are both churchgoers makes you look like a fine couple on paper. Your concern should be about her flexibility. If Elizabeth lets someone else's prophecy affect her Interest Level for you, she's structured - in other words, she has an inflexible attitude. Along with lack of integrity and giving, a lack of flexibility is something you don't want in a woman.

Think of it this way, Warren: just as it was Elizabeth's decision to listen to another guy's predictions of her future, it's also her decision on how to interpret these messages. If she wanted to, she could view a Bible conversation you have with your friends as evidence that you are a preacher. And - if you have ever driven to Canada or Mexico, she could consider you a world traveler! My point is, if she is in love with you, her Interest Level will cause her to stretch the meaning of the prophecy to its breaking point - just to make sure that you are her chosen one! Who knows, if Elizabeth keeps chasing you, she might even consider you more important than prophecies. Yes, guys, some religious women with high Interest Level would actually do this!

Warren, your girl's invitations to church were strong by themselves, but when you add the fact that she nearly trampled the congregation in order to give you a hug - Hallelujah! It's rare for women to be the aggressors in relationships (it is even rarer in church!), so you've got a very strong Buying Signal. True - some churchgoers hug each other out of their love for God, but I don't think that's what happened in your case. I think you've got an angel with 80% Interest Level.

Warren, you've done a good job so far, but keep utilizing the principles of the "System" - if you do, you will raise her Interest Level to high heaven, until she might just ask you to tie the holy knot till death do us part!

E-mail me at doclove@doclove.com with your love challenges. All letters will be answered, but because of space, only those of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.

?Copyright DocLove DotCom

Author's Bio: 

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"