Hey Doc Love,

I have this friend who has the ability to talk women into buying him things. He does not buy them anything or tell them he loves them but they still give him stuff. Recently, a woman bought him a pair of shoes that cost 300 dollars!

How can I get girls to buy me things too? I am not a golddigger, but I think that when you can get a woman to buy you things then you can get a very high level of confidence and it will help you succeed in other areas of life.

Tony - who wants to be a gigolo too

Hi Tony,

Lying to and using people shows the opposite of confidence. The flimflam man may occasionally feel confident about getting away with his schemes, but he's also afraid to face the harsh truth that he's a leech, and without victims, he would starve to death. The modern-day gigolo suffers from the same curse.

The word "gigolo" used to mean "male professional escort." This was a job that involved dancing with middle-aged women and going to high-class parties with them (sometimes, it involved prostitution). But lately, word "gigolo" has been used to include any man who enters a relationship with a woman under false pretenses in order to get his hands on her money. In other words, he is the male version of the golddigger (or as I call her: The Mercenary).

In spite of his profession's dubious reputation, the gigolo of the past was much more honorable than today's gigolo. At least when the former sold himself, he stated his prices up front - the latter is merely a con artist who deserves ostracism, and in some cases, jail time.

Leaving aside his sociopathic features - the modern-day gigolo can still teach nice guys something about romancing women. After all, his ability to work a woman's heart the way a virtuoso works the strings of a violin is a skill we could all use in our love lives. So, what's his secret? It comes down to following three steps: Step One: adhere to a strict selection process. You may think the gigolo was born with extraordinary powers of persuasion, but his real power comes from the way he profiles and targets only the kind of women who make his job easy: women with low self-esteem. He only spends his time on (employed) homely and matronly women who need love and attention in a big way; they alone can be successfully smothered with verbiage. Gigolos are gifted at smelling out this type, and once he does, he moves onto Step Two, which is: follow a reliable, predetermined strategy.

This is where the snake becomes the charmer - he starts telling the woman how thin and beautiful she is. Secure women would immediately recognize this buttering up as a con game (which is why he screens them out) but women with low self-esteem fall for it every time.

Now, he's ready to give his poverty speech, which makes the woman dive for her checkbook (Usually, men are the ones who throw money at problem relationships, but insecure women are an interesting exception to this rule). Because she's afraid to lose him, the woman gives him "loans" with very favorable terms. She tells him: "You can pay me back once you get back on your feet." Bad move - snakes don't have feet!

In a nutshell, the gigolo's love strategy is to draw the woman in with strokes until she offers him her wallet. In time, he can expect new clothes, free dinners, and a beautiful watch to come his way. What a guy!

The third and last step of the gigolo's plan is to coolly monitor his progress. If a gigolo realizes he isn't getting the combination to the safe, he casually drops the woman and moves on (How many of you guys out there are able to do the same to a beautiful woman when she breaks a date with you? I admit it's easier to drop a woman when you have no feelings for her to begin with!). The gigolo doesn't allow his emotions to cloud his perceptions and actions; he always keeps his eye on the prize.

Guys, the gigolo's three steps for gaining a woman's money can be used to help you gain a long-term, loving, and mutually beneficial relationship. How? Simply replace the gigolo's actions with actions recommended by The "System." So - instead of looking for women with no self-esteem, look for women with high Interest Level, integrity, flexibility, and giving dispositions. Instead of strokes and hard luck stories, you will offer women self-control, confidence, and Challenge. Like the gigolo, you will force yourself to stay objective to see whether you are reaching your goal - but unlike the gigolo, you can always refer back to The "System" whenever you are confused.

Tony, though it would be possible to learn some things from your buddy, you should realize that he's a lowlife who should not be emulated. Instead of hoping to gain a pair of shoes from a relationship, raise your sights a little more, my man - women have a lot more to offer.

?Copyright DocLove DotCom

Author's Bio: 

E-mail me at doclove@doclove.com with your love challenges. All
letters will be answered, but because of space, only those of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"