Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen

Dear Doc Love,

I just discovered your Internet column in Askmen.com; the one entitled "A Dose of Male Perspective on this Romantic Love Stuff." As a babyboomer single (divorced) woman, I disagree on one aspect: "The woman is happiest when she does the chasing, and when she thinks it is her idea to pursue a romantic relationship," so men: play hard to get.

I for myself am happiest when I am being chased by the man and I like to play "hard to get" in the beginning, because when a man pursues me (when I am interested in him) only then will I know that he's really interested in me. Any comments?

Wanda - who waits and sees.

Hi Patient One,

Great question, Wanda. I normally don't print questions from females, but your question is so important that I am going to print it anyway because it will help my boys - and boy, do they really need the help!

As to your statement, Wanda: Not knowing whether a man is interested in you has never been one of your problems. Come on, Wanda! You could read a man's Interest Level in you after five minutes of his conversation and body language! It's the men who most frequently overlook the crossed arms, the yawns, and the bored expressions of a potential love interest with zero Interest Level, not the women.

Guys, listen up: With all due respect to Wanda, spending every available moment chasing a woman and verbalizing to her how much you like her is both a waste of time and a detriment to your cause (raising her Interest Level). Your time would be better spent studying The "System" and learning to be a Challenge.

Let's imagine for a minute that Wanda is at a party on a Wednesday night where she meets two single and available men who both have 90% Interest Level in her. Let's say Wanda's Interest Level in both of them is 75% - a dead heat. The first guy, Mr. Chase, tells her he's attracted to her and would like to go out. The second man, Mr. Challenge, simply asks for her home phone number. Her Interest Level in one of these men rises one point to 76% and while her Interest Level in the other one drops one point to 74%. Who do you think gained a point and who lost a point? Unsure? Read on.

Mr. Chase calls Wanda the very next day, and tells her what a good time he had with her at the party, and how much he looks forward to seeing her that Saturday evening. Mr. Challenge waits until the following Monday to ask her out for Wednesday evening. Wanda's Interest Level in one of these men rises to 77% while it drops to 73% for the other.

Mr. Chase calls Wanda the four times following week (in spite of the fact that they had already had a date set for another Saturday), and sends her a dozen roses. Mr. Challenge sends no gifts, instead he calls Wanda once that week, on Tuesday, to ask for a date on Thursday. Wanda's Interest Level in one of these men rises to 78% while it drops to 72% for the other.

A month later, Wanda asks one of these men: "Are you married?" She asks the other man nothing. Now, boys and girls, whom do you think Wanda likes more, Mr. Challenge or Mr. Chase? I'll give you a hint: she wouldn't ask the above question to a guy who was predictable and available?

As you can see, Wanda chose Mr. Challenge over Mr. Chase. In the long run, she was happiest with the guy who held back and played it cool.

After two months of dating, Wanda's Interest Level in Mr. Challenge hit 90%, and she had no desire to continue dating Mr. Chase, who no longer made her happy. For their two-month anniversary, Mr. Challenge gave Wanda a single rose. She was ecstatic, and considered it, by far, the best gift she had ever received in her entire life. Mr. Challenge, take a bow!

For you slow guys, let me put it to you simply. If a gentleman did everything by The "System," the woman would be so gone, that her intellect and common sense would fly out the window. Oh, she might try to mobilize her mental forces, but the gentleman's two steps forward and one step back approach would throw her thinking into a tizzy. In spite of the fact that women are born detectives when it comes to love, the man's actions would still not compute. He is there - and then he isn't. Just like a Love Ninja. When a woman ends up saying to herself in the mirror, "I know he likes me, so why isn't he coming on strong like all the others?" - it is because this woman has never met a Challenge. Guess what's happening to her Interest Level when she asks this question? That's right! In fact, it's heading for the moon!

Guys, I know Challenge is a tough pill to swallow - especially if you've been brainwashed all your life to chase the woman, tell her all your hang-ups, and make her your mama - but if you keep reading this column with an open mind, then I guarantee that one day Miss Right will call you "Daddy."

Author's Bio: 

Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com with your love questions, and they will all be answered, with the most interesting ones printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
call me at: (800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another man?" Listen to my talkshow at www.vocaloca.com on Sunday at 9AM Pacific Coast Time under Romance Talk show.