Completely Committed

Time for Exercise: 15 minutes

Properties Required: none


  1. Explain to your partner what your commitment means.
  2. Give evidence that supports your statement and shows your commitment. Below are examples of evidence that commitment is real. The items on this list are not all required. They are examples to help get the exercise going. Each couple will express their commitment in their own way. There are no rules about commitment. The most important thing about commitment is that you are in agreement about it. For example, in some relationships, neither partner is ready for 100% commitment.

Merging of finances
Names on property titles
Shared bank accounts
Beneficiaries in wills and insurance policies
Legal marriage
Having or adopting children
Sleeping together
Personal sacrifices on the other’s behalf
Giving up something you want so your lover can have what he wants

Admitting when you are wrong rather than always trying to win every argument

Asking: “How can I help?”
Offering: “Let me do that for you.”
Confiding in your lover when you are hurting or afraid
Admitting: “I don’t know.”
Asking for what you want
Saying “yes” whenever you can, and “no” when you must

Trying new things together
Surviving hardship
Trust—for example, when the evidence makes your partner look bad, you know: “That can’t be all the evidence.”

Not putting up with your partner’s bullshit, but calling her on it (in a loving way)

Forgiving your lover when he has made a mistake
Treating him with kindness, respect, and fairness


If you have issues about commitment, share them with your lover. Explain any fears and doubts you have about your willingness or ability to give your commitment. Also talk about your intention to work through these issues together.

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website and their blog or send email: They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.