Emotional Baggage is the “Stuff” hidden in the closets of your mind

We all have some kind of “Stuff” cluttering our lives. It is so easy for the psychological “Stuff” to accumulate. It can come from childhood disasters, broken relationships, etc. We store this “Stuff” in closets, attics, basements, and garages of our being. On the surface no one can see how we hide all the garbage. But as someone wants to get close to us and opens one of our doors everything comes down on their heads and almost suffocates the innocent victim.

It is not hard to understand as time goes by, that everyone starts to avoid opening any of our doors. Sometimes we don’t realize the garbage is all over. We think that when we got away from all the mess and when the dump truck took that problem away from us, our life would now be great. All this “Stuff” is different from one person to another.

A bit of post traumatic stress, a feeling of failure, blame, anger, resentment, and on and on. We hide it in the garage, attic, ………. but, anyone who visits us can’t step over it, or walk around it. We think this new person will help us get rid of all this stuff. Some might want to help but realize as they start the task that a lot of this stuff is sharp; it cuts and even stabs.

All we have succeeded in accomplishing is to continue floating in our garbage and drowning the potential lifeguards that try to save us. If you see yourself living in this horror house of garbage, maybe just maybe, you will realize it is time to do something about it. (What you say? Should I move?) I don’t feel this method works for a lot of people. I have been told sometimes your “Stuff” moves with you.

What worked for me was Spring-cleaning. I went to each area of my being and looked at and felt (the emotions) of each item stored. I made a decision, which I call a “Mind Set”. My mind set was to acknowledge forever that the items I throw away would never be allowed to upset me again. They are in the past as pages of an old book. My mindset of the future will be writing new pages and chapters to complete the rest of my book of life. I have held onto some of that old stuff as a beacon.

For my personality today is a composite of the good and bad stuff in my life. The experiences I have faced have made me grow. I am today all of my experiences of yesterday. I’m not holding on to be a victim, martyr or a masochist. I want to use these experiences as the foundation to build my new house. My “Mind Set” for the “Stuff” I toss out and what I have saved is the same, I will never let them upset me again.

Author's Bio: 

Wayne L. Misner is owner of Healthcare CIO, a consultant company in New Jersey. His book Men Don’t Listen is a self help book for men that is a must read for women also. He has been in the healthcare field for thirty-five years. In addition, he became the Vice President of Programs and Education for a NJ chapter of Parents Without Partners, where he moderated men and women’s groups across the state. For ten years, he had the opportunity to facilitate many groups of men and women who were struggling with not being able to listen. While at the Rehabilitation Hospital he also was a facilitator of the women’s group for both inpatients and outpatients.

Over all these years he has installed systems in Jersey Shore Medical Center (Meridian Health System), St. Elizabeth Hospital (Trinitas), and Morristown Medical Center (Atlantic Health System). In addition, he has directed the Information Systems Centers at Carrier Rehabilitation Hospital and Shore Memorial Hospital. As Vice President of the Princeton based NJ Hospital Association, Mr. Misner represented all the hospital members directing, “The Hospital Information System.”

He is the father of two sons and one daughter and is one of the men he has written about.


Disabled Korean Veteran with Bronze Service Star
New Jersey Distinguished Service Medal
Follmer Bronze Award
Reeves Silver Award
Muncie Gold Award
HFMA Medal of Honor Award