We all know someone who wants to move forward but something stops them. Sometimes, we are that someone ourselves!

Can we really shape our own lives? Imagine for example being able to write your future. Can we in some way paint the picture of a real future happiness? Is it possible?

Picture this scenario. The future is a blank canvas in front of you. The past is behind you. Your hand is poised with the paintbrush of your present. And maybe there is a voice in your head that says...

"But"...

And that is just fine. That "but" is just a signal from your unconscious mind; a signal that the way forward requires gentle negotiation and TLC.

Now that we know this, we can take positive steps forward.

And each step forward is a step in the right direction.

We need to ask three questions first.

1. What does your "but" consist of?

2. What do we need to negotiate?

3. Why do we need to negotiate?

Let us start with the last question. Your unconscious mind is acting as a sentinel, a guard. It is standing at the door to your future, and it is protecting you against perceived harm. We need to negotiate with your unconscious mind so that it will let you through the door to success. Imagine this conversation...

You: "Let me through"

Sentinel: "No"

You: "This is the right way. I want to go through this door"

Sentinel: "No"

Which brings us to the second question of what we need to negotiate. We need to negotiate a safe way forward that will bring you what you will be happy with and is right for you. Continuing the conversation with the sentinel, it goes something like this...

You: "You clearly are trying to protect me and have my best interests at heart. Thank you"

Sentinel: "You are welcome"

You: "I appreciate your protection. What are you trying to protect me from?"

Sentinel: "I am protecting you from X"

You: "Thank you. I have a solution now. If I take action plan Y, then I will be totally safe from X"

Sentinel: "That seems like a plan that could work"

You: "I tell you what. I now have action plan Y and will go through this door if you let me. I promise that if I find that plan Y needs refining, I will come back here again for you to protect me the same way you have been."

Sentinel: "OK, go ahead"

This in NLP terms is part of a process called a six step reframe. The principle behind this is that whatever is holding you back is not an enemy but a friend. Why use up so much of our energy fighting a perceived enemy when we can simply negotiate with a friend? Of course, it makes sense to negotiate with your friend. And so what was previously a constant battle becomes part of the solution. And a solution is a good step forward.

Author's Bio: 

My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the more and better options one has, the more choice there is.

A virus caught along with 5 other students at university at the end of 1986, plus medical negligence, meant that I got smokers lung at a relatively young age. In desperation for help with my symptoms and quality of life, I turned to complementary therapy, and this is the 12th year I have outlived one doctor's prognosis.

I am now a complementary therapist, author and trainer specializing in "energy psychology". Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE book "7 Real Truths of Energy Psychology" at www.newagetherapies.com