© Robert Elias Najemy

1. Clarify goals
2. Set Intention (consciously and subconsciously)
3. Determine Actions and "sacrifices of love"
4. Remove inner obstacles ? 3 kinds ? Present State ? Effort - Success
5. Employ efforts and program
6. Perseverance ?
7. Patience ?
8. Detachment from result ? and identifying self-worth with result ? (discouragement and giving up)

1. Determining and clarifying our goals

a. We start by making a list of our goals.

What we would like to accomplish in the near and far future ? before we leave these bodies.

We might be talking about any goals on any level. Some examples might be:

Lose weight
A harmonious love relationship
Financial security
Abundance on all levels
Professional advancement
Professional satisfaction
Greater effectiveness in dealing with clients
Better relationship with time.
Able to be more assertive with others
Greater Athletic achievement
Greater success with the opposite sex
Dietary discipline
Increased creative ability
Learn to dance (paint, write, act etc.)
Learn a musical instrument
Learn a language
Public speaking ability
To be able to be totally honest with self and others
To be able to be myself in all (specific) situations
Better grades at school
Learn to fly a plane
Travel around the world (or to a specific place)
More effective communication with _______
Be able to Love ____ as he/she is
Overcome the pain of the loss of a loved one.
Overcome attachments and or fears.
Greater Concentration
Better Memory
Emotional maturity
Greater Self-acceptance
Greater Self-confidence
Mental development
Thought-free meditation
Happiness in all situations
Inner Peace regardless of external events
Selfless Love for all
Moral contentment

Many other possibilities ________________________________________________

Please take time to choose a goal of your own or inner potential that you want to manifest.

Some of my present goals (inner potentials that I would like to manifest) are:
1. _____________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________

The first goal I would like to work on is: _____________________________

b. Then we will want to understand why we want to manifest these goals or inner potentials.

1. What do we believe we will get or feel? (What is the need behind the need?) (Happiness, satisfaction, self-worth, acceptance, recognition, peace, security, money, freedom, satisfy parents) Why do we want, need or desire to do this?

When I have manifested this goal (inner potential) I (believe I) will now have:
a. Greater financial security
b. Higher self-worth
c. More acceptance/recognition from others
d. More freedom
e. Satisfaction
f. Inner peace
g. Long term Happiness
h. Greater Self-actualization
i. Moral satisfaction
j. Inner fulfillment
k. My parents¢ recognition
l. Other _______________________

The most important of the above for me are: ________________________________

Sometimes the goal may not be ours ? but for our parents or for society ? spouse.

2. Is this goal for me or a programming or for others?

3. Is this goal worth pursuing ? as a process ? even if the results are not what I image or would like? Is this ideal important enough for me to make the effort ? not matter what happens?

4. Is this goal moving towards something or running away from something?

2. Set Intention (consciously and subconsciously)

Intention and Concentration on our goals means that we focus on them clearly and intensely (Without anxiety but with confidence that we will manifest them) and direct our energy, time, money and intelligence towards them.

a. Daily positive projection of ourselves having already achieved the goal will direct our energies in that direction.
b. We can use our goal as a frame of reference in order to make decisions as to how to spend our time, money and energy.

3. Determine Actions and "sacrifices of love"

Determine the actions needed to take to move towards goal:
a. Actions we need to take ? efforts we will make.
b. What we will need to sacrifice with love.

a. What actions will I need to take in order to achieve this goal or manifest this inner potential?

1. Study
2. Take courses
3. Develop discipline
4. Communicate with ____
5. Come into contact with people or situations that I would prefer not to.
6. Make an effort
7. Work hard
8. Wake up early
9. Work extra hours
10. Overcome fears
11. Overcome attachments
12. Travel
1. Forgive
2. Be honest with self and others
3. Confront ______
4. Learn new concepts and techniques
5. Give much time
6. Exercise daily
7. Admit faults - mistakes
Other ____________________
b. What might I have to «sacrifice with love» (have less of in order to have the time, money and energy to manifest this goal?

1. Less food
2. Less time for recreation, TV.
3. Less sleep
4. Less of some specific activity _____ .
5. Giving up cigarettes, alcohol - other pleasures

4. Remove inner obstacles ? 3 kinds ? Present State ? Effort - Success

Remove inner obstacles with EFT and other techniques (especially Energy - Psychology) towards removing all internal and external obstacles.

Our abilities, power, virtues, qualities. talents and inner potentials are all natural inner (soul) qualities and exist in each of us waiting for manifestation. They are not so much developed as they are revealed from within.

An analogy would be an inner lake full of various qualities and abilities that are all ready to flow outward and manifest in our daily lives. But there are certain obstacles that prevent this flow. Our job as coaches is to remove these obstacles so that the innate wisdom and power can freely flow.

We do not educate as much as we liberate what is already there.

We then help identify the following categories of obstructing emotions that can be removed with Energy Psychology or any other means.

a. Feelings about not having yet succeeded. We might feel guilt, shame, disappointment, disillusionment, self-rejection, anger at ourselves or others who might be «responsible» a feeling that it is not worth trying any more. Such feelings can cause so much energy to be lost in negativity than not enough actually moves towards making the necessary changes.

b. About feelings about making the effort.
1. What need to do (exercising, studying, traveling, speaking to others, classes, seminars, exerting self- as mentioned above). We might feel suppressed, fear that the effort will be too tiring, or that we will loose our freedom or that we might fail.

2. What might have to give up, (food, freedom, cigarettes, drinking, vacations, time with friends, Television, sleeping late) We might fear feeling suppressed, unhappy, losing our freedom, tense etc.

c. Feelings about succeeding ? We may feel that we are not worthy of such success, or that if we actually do achieve that goal, we will have to give up something else important to us.

A part of me (perhaps subconsciously) might feel that in relation to this goal:

a. I do not deserve to have it or fulfil this goal
b. I cannot have or manifest this goal.
c. I am in some type of danger if I fulfill this goal.
d. I am not capable of fulfilling this goal.
e. Others do not want me to have or fulfill it. I do not want to hurt them or come into conflict with them.
f. I will lose others¢ love if I succeed or fulfill this goal.
g. I will not be a spiritual person if I have this or fulfill this goal.
h. I will feel guilty if I have this or fulfill this goal.
i. I will harm others if I fulfill this goal.
j. I am guilty and not worthy and I should not have or fulfill this goal.
k. Since I have not been able to have it until now, then I will not be able to fulfill this goal.
l. I will lose my freedom if I fulfill this goal.
m. I will lose my self-worth if I succeed here.
n. I might have to sacrifice some source of security in order to fulfill this goal.
o. I might give satisfaction to others - something which I do not want to do.
p. The others might cease feeling guilty about me.
q. I might lose my control over others.
r. My other desires will be unfulfilled if I have or fulfill this goal.
s. The effort to achieve this goal will be painful or unpleasant.
t. I do not have the necessary discipline to manifest this goal.
u. Other _________________________________________________________

(This subject is discussed in detail Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology. http://HolisticHarmony.com)

(This would be dealt with in another seminar on EFT and other forms of Energy Psychology.)

Technique for discovering obstacles

1. A good possible way to discover our specific obstacles is to do a relaxation technique and:

a. Think about the fact that we have not yet achieved our goal and discover how we feel about not having done so yet. If we find that we have negative emotions about not having succeeded yet, we will need to employ EFT for these emotions as described below in the section on becoming satisfied with ourselves as we are.

b. Then, we imagine ourselves making the effort towards that goal and see how we feel about making that effort. (Do we enjoy it, or do we feel suppressed, fearful or discouraged? Do we feel that it is in vain to make this effort ? because we will never succeed?)

If we find we have resistance towards this effort, then we will need to employ EFT for those emotions and beliefs, which make the effort itself difficult or unpleasant.

c. Now, we imagine ourselves having succeeded in this effort and see how we feel now that this is not an issue any more.

Now will guide you to think of three aspects and see what you feel about each in relation to the goal you have chosen.

1. That not yet achieved
2a. That will need to make certain effort
2b. Time, money and energy from elsewhere
About success ? can you imagine ? how you feel.

5. Employ efforts and program

Conscious Directing of energy in which we willingly, intelligently and lovingly sacrifice other possibly conflicting needs in order to achieve our goals.

6. Perseverance ?

Perseverance in our efforts towards those goals and in removing all obstacles.

7. Patience

Patience for the results to come. This is important so as not to give up.

8. Detachment from result ? and from identifying self-worth with result ?

Detachment from the results of our efforts and faith that the result will be whatever is best for our evolutionary process. Sometimes we need to accept not having and experience self-worth, security and happiness without, before the way if free to manifest what we want.

Some other questions that might expose inner obstacles might be:

3. Is there perhaps a part of me which is getting something from the role of being the victim or the "poor me" and thus subconsciously:
a. Feels that things should not go well for me.
b. I must experience injustice, failures and problems.

4. Are there possibly childhood experiences concerning this goal?
a. What did you hear from your environment about this particular goal? Is it easy, difficult, good, bad, right, wrong, for your family?
b. Did others in your childhood environment achieve this goal? Do you have a prototype for success at this?
c. What were others¢ perceptions of you as a child? (In regard to this issue or success, ability or self-worth in general)
d. What was your own perception of yourself as a child? (In regard to this issue or success, ability or self-worth in general)
e. Did anything else happen in your childhood years that might affect your perception of this issue?

5. How do you imagine those important to you will feel if you succeed or fail at this? How do you feel about how they might feel?

6. Do you perhaps have some type of inner conflict about this?
How to employ EFT for each type of obstacle

We employ EFT on each obstacle separately

1. For emotions we have concerning the fact that we have not yet succeed. (Perhaps shame, failure, self-rejection, disappointment, injustice or anger etc.)

A.1. Even though I feel ______ about the fact that I have not yet been able to _______, I deeply and profoundly love myself.
A.2. Even though until now I have felt ______ about the fact that I have not yet been able to _______, I am now actualizing (succeeding, manifesting) it.

B. I chose (want, deserve, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free of this _______ (emotion)

C. Reminder phrase: (The emotion) _______ concerning ______(fact of not having yet succeeded)

2. Concerning our ability to manifest this goal.

There will be times when we have discovered specific obstacles and will word our phrases according to those specific obstacles.

At other times we will not know exactly what is preventing our success. In such cases we can work with phrase "this resistance" or "this possible resistance". Obviously in such a case we will not be able to evaluate the SUD, as we can when we have found specific emotion or belief obstructing our progress.
Thus when working with general - unknown forms or resistance- we should do around three rounds a day until we get results.

It is also very likely that while working on the general "suspected" obstacle, that we will then become aware of the specific emotions and beliefs that are obstructing us and will be able to work on them directly now with a specific SUD and get clearer results.

We would best work with the obstacles towards making the effort first and then towards accepting success.
There may be times when we will first need to remove the resistance towards the success before we can remove the obstacles towards the effort. Experiment and see which SUD is higher and work on that first.

We must also remember to use the phrases below frequently throughout the day for correcting possible psychological reversal even when not doing full rounds.

A.1. Even though I have not yet ______. I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
A.2. Even though it seems that I have some (this) obstacle towards ________, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
A.3. Even though I have not yet ________, I am now actualizing (succeeding, manifesting) it.
A.4. Even though I have this _______ (specific obstacle) towards ________, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
A.5. Even though I have this _______ (specific obstacle) towards ________, I am now actualizing (succeeding at, manifesting) it.
A.6. Even though I have this resistance towards making an effort towards ______. I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
A.7. Even though until now I have had this resistance towards making an effort towards ______. I am now enjoying directing my energy towards that which I really want.

B. I choose (want, deserve, accept) to now create __________ (the goal or make this effort ? depending on the resistance).

5. Reminder phrase: (The goal) (or obstacle to the goal)

Procedure for Overcoming goals to obstacles

A. We Focus on our goal

B. We look for the possible obstacles (Imagine self trying and succeeding)
1. Obstacles to making the effort
2. Obstacles to accepting success

C. We list our obstacles

D. We employ EFT on each obstacle separately

Supplementary reading (Books by Robert Najemy at http://www.holisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp):

1. The Psychology of Happiness ? Chapters 1, 14, 18, 21
A. Free to Be Happy with Energy Psychology - Chapter 12
B. Handbook for Life Coach Training ? Chapter 26

Author's Bio: 

Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.aspHe is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance, mp3 audio lectures and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com