Pain on the Path

Question: When one begins the path to Enlightenment, I've read it can be from either what we would call a painful or a wonderful experience. My enlightenment began when I fell in love with a man whom I left my husband for. I thought he was the love of my life. After leaving my marriage of 13 years and hurting my beautiful 9 year old son, I found out he was nothing I desired. I was soooooo incredibly blind and he had lied to me horrifically. Alone one night after the midst of just beginning to find out his truth, I fell to my knees and asked God to forgive me for whatever I had done to deserve this. n nThen the most amazing thing happened, I heard a deep voice inside me say "stand up my child for you are loved". I realized then that God was nothing but love. I grew up in a religious family and had been taught God punishes us. I began to read your books and many others. I have forgiven this man as I see him now as a child who is hurting himself deeply. Though, he has been the greatest Teacher in my life and doesn't even know this. I love and care about him still as a friend. I feel as if he is the reason I am now reaching out to find myself. n nIt has been almost 4 years since I left my marriage. My now 12 year old son has begun to ask why I left his father. I feel this deep pain inside of me often when I think about my son and how he must feel. I'm scared to tell him I left his father for another man. Should I tell him the truth? I know he would still love me but I don't know if he would understand and I don't want to hurt him even more. I am only beginning my path but why did it have to begin with so much pain and hurt others? Your insight would be much appreciated. n n nAnswer:n nYour process didn’t have to be painful, that just happens to be how this phase of your journey unfolded. When one falls in love and then discovers what one fell in love with was not the actual person, but a projected image of them, then it can be a difficult to come to terms with. I’m glad to see that you have not interpreted this pain as punishment, nor have you reacted with retaliation and revenge to the man in question.n nThis is really about finding that truth within you that is beyond images, hopes, ideals and infatuation. That is what you are learning to trust in and believe in, and when you have owned that soul essence inside you, then there won’t be anymore painful guilt, disappointment or insecurity.n nLove,nDeepak