Passionate Sex - Developing More
Written by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
Having passionate sex is a very important component of a couple's relationship and it's also one of the most difficult to maintain in the long term. Couples frequently struggle with this issue because they don't understand why it dwindles or how to keep it alive. Many people aren't even aware it's missing from their relationship, they know something is wrong, but they just can't put their finger on it.
Sex that is lacking in passion is boring and dissatisfying. It fails to incite desire and arousal and leads to sexual boredom. Instead of looking forward to falling into each others arms, couples may begin to feel like it's an obligation or duty and begin to avoid one another. If left unattended to, over time the relationship can erode and pretty soon they find they are just going through the motions. It is often a leading contributor to infidelity, because one or both partners is not content, so they look outside the relationship to feel fulfilled.
On the other hand, passionate sex brings a couple closer together physically, emotionally and spiritually. It enhances the quality of the relationship on all levels. Both partners are content, satisfied and happy not only with their relationship, but life in general is more fulfilling.
The most important point to keep in mind is that passionate sex in a long-term relationship takes work and commitment.
Passion usually dissipates slowly over the years and a lot of times couples don't even realize it before it's already gone. Couples come to me all the time and say "I don't know what happened or when it happened." They don't realize that the longer they remain together the easier it is to get sidetracked and the harder they will have to work to maintain the heat. It sneaks up on you like a thief in the night and you must remain a vigilant guard.
It is normal for passion to vacillate though the course of a relationship and it will dissipate completely if not nurtured. Each partner in the relationship must make a mindful decision to make the relationship a priority and foster passion.
Having passionate sex involves a lot more than learning the latest oral sex technique or wild new sex position. It's largely about things that occur outside the act of lovemaking itself such as how you treat your lover, how much you invest in your relationship and how well you cultivate the connection you share together.
You may be an amazing contortionist, a master of the Kama Sutra or a skilled lovemaking artist, but these are all worthless if your relationship lacks passion. They only hold power when used in proper context. When you get the essentials under your belt then focusing on things like being adventurous and spontaneous and will be more effective.
Passion is kept alive with acts such as treating your partner with respect, expressing appreciation, building more intimacy, making the relationship a priority, frequent communication, expressing feelings, working out conflict, not taking your partner or relationship for granted, taking an interest in your lovers emotional and sexual needs and valuing your role as a lover.
Learn the keys for developing more passionate sex and you'll build not only a stronger, more exciting and satisfying sex life but a healthier and more fulfilling relationship all around.
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