Picking Up the Pieces

I went to the dry cleaners yesterday which is very unusual for me. As the mother of two small children, my wardrobe is mostly wash and wear (or don't wash and wear, depending on the week). When I gave the woman behind the counter my phone number, she asked if I was there to pick up. But I couldn't remember the last time I'd been there. "Wait," she said, "that was in 2005." Then it all came flooding back. Four years ago, I did go to this same dry cleaners but at the time, I was so broke that I couldn't afford to pick up the pieces.

Although we are gratefully doing well now, at that time, my family was having its own personal recession. Not only was I lacking the money to pick up two items of dry cleaning but I could not fill my tank with gas and every month, we threw the bills in the air to choose which few we would actually pay.

This trip to the dry cleaners made me wonder about what it was that got me through, from there to here where life is much more abundant. I believe it was truly my body that did it. My mind at the time was plagued with worry, negative scenarios and fear. But every morning, I got up. I made breakfast out of whatever we had in the kitchen. I changed diapers. All we could afford to do was take walks so most days, my kids and I would explore our neighborhood. We had our favorite spot to look for bugs. There were the neighbor's horses to pet. The rocks we threw in the creek after the rain.

I don't mean to idealize that time too much because there was a tremendous amount of stress humming in the background which was extremely distracting, but when I could just enjoy the moment, there was a simplicity to my family's life that was primary and had nothing to do with money. Now, with a much busier life and more resources, it is still that quality of being that I cultivate when I am with with my kids.

Although I have been well educated to give my mind a lot of power and credit over my life, it is really my humble body that picks up the pieces during the moments my mind has given up all hope and carries me forward.