Avoiding "Comparison Tripping"

Have you ever found yourself looking at what other people are doing and achieving, and then comparing yourself to them so that you end up feeling inadequate?

This is called "comparison tripping" and it's one surefire way to erode our confidence. Unfortunately, it happens all too often. We may hear about the successes of a family member, friend, or colleague and rather that feel genuinely happy for them, we may compare our results to theirs and begin to feel inferior if we are not achieving the same results.

This sense of inferiority causes at least two problems. First, we may feel that we should be achieving the same results, and we may begin to focus our attention on pursuing those results. Once those are achieved we may not feel fulfilled, as we've been chasing after something that we really didn't want in the first place.

I met a lady by the name of Laura during one of my seminars who owns a very successful retail store. She told me about a one-day seminar she attended on how to expand your business. One particular session dealt with franchising your concept worldwide. The speaker had done this himself, and she was excited by the idea and took copious notes.

Later that evening while reviewing her notes, it occurred to her that she didn't really want to franchise. She realized what she really loved about her business was living in the community where she was, and that she valued the quality of life that she was currently enjoying.

Although franchising may have been the right concept for that speaker, she was not prepared to dedicate the time and effort into pursuing that particular avenue. She stopped herself from comparing her results to his, and going after something that deep down she really didn't want.

The other problem with harboring a sense of inferiority is that we may prevent our selves from taking action to really test the extent of our capabilities. Our lack of confidence can and does prevent us from discovering all that we can be, because as our confidence erodes we tend to take fewer risks, we become more critical of our self, and we're not as effective as we can be.

To prevent "comparison tripping" in the future, we need to take the time to create our own definition of success. What is success to you? What are its components? When do you feel successful?

Once you have identified what success means to you, you'll find that the only person you need to compare yourself to - is you!

Having our own definition of success is vital to our self-confidence. Without it, we can easily fall prey to comparing ourselves to others and start to feel less than okay. Once we begin to be true to our own definition of success, we can genuinely feel happy for other people's success. Hopefully they are living their definition of success and we now realize that our version may simply be different from theirs. nnn