“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” ~Arthur Schopenhauer.

This article is both a description of failing and a prescription of succeeding. Back in the early seventies two therapists named Joseph and Harry (or so the story goes) got together to develop a rational theory and method to help people learn, improve and grow forward in the popular personal development quest of the human potential (now positive psychology) movement. This theory helped people grow through four quadrants of learning the things they needed to know to grow, improve and be more successful. It has wide application to today’s conflicts, problems and dilemmas.

Here’s what this finished product—The Johari Window—looked like (you'll have to visualize a window divided into four equal panes, because this software doesn't like tables):

Quadrant 1: Past

“What do we all know?”

Quadrant 2: Past-Present

“What do I know and others don’t?”

Quadrant 3: Present-Future

“What do others know and I don’t?”

Quadrant 4: Future

“What don’t we all know?”

Quadrant 1: Is where all the most difficult conversations have to occur to painfully peel off all the disagreement layers from the onion to uncover the common consensus of something. This is the ‘heart and soul’ essence of the treasure you are looking for—the most simple, accurate and complete knowable “truth” of something. We rarely spend enough time talking and sharing our secrets and suspicions in this quadrant, skipping it and often the other two, to hurry up and get to the prize waiting in quadrant four.

I once spend nearly two years helping a church group get rid of all their differences of personal opinions so we could get at the fundamental core purpose of the church (and religion), our basic mission, which we could all finally agree upon (oddly I was using the Appreciative Inquiry method before I knew it had a name!). From there we built the necessary knowledge to grow and prosper and be successful in carrying out our agreed-upon main mission. This is the point of departure from universal truth and to know truth of the future you have to know it in the past, because as the saying goes nothing is new it is just old and retold and if it is new it isn’t true.

Quadrants 2 and 3: Have entrances that are guarded by giant egos and if there are ever places to check your ego, it is before you try to look through the lower left or upper right window panes of the Johari Window of knowledge. In order to get to this vantage point, you have to do two difficult things: (a) admit that what you think you know may not be necessarily so, and (b) realize that someone else may know something you don’t. This is where you have to shed pride and ego, and openly admit that you don’t know everything or even very much compared to all that is known or knowable. Such humbling opens a window to infinite learning, knowing and success, but it isn’t free or easy.

Both quadrants 2 and 3 have very heavy assumptions that fog up this window—that what you think you know is actually so, and that others really don’t know it, or that they know something you don’t (and you wish you did and are jealous). Those are very big assumptions and turf battles! The only way to find out the answer to the questions in these middle quadrants is to check them out, which requires great communication ability. You all have to know what it is you know clearly and completely enough to explain it clearly and completely enough for it to be understood accurately by everyone, going from your brain and mouth to someone else’s ears and brain. Lots of obstacles along the way.

Needless-to-say (then why do I have to say it?), lots of folks can get really super-glued stuck in these quadrants and even think they have communicated well enough (another dangerous assumption) to move onto the last quadrant which they haven’t really prepared for at all. And even when you have communicated well enough, you sometimes have to go back into these two quadrants because you or the others may have forgotten something you do know which is very important and germane to the issue at hand. Often it is like going back and re-tightening the lug nuts on a wheel while fixing a flat tire.

Quadrant 4: Is where creative synthesis occurs to gather sound, useful knowledge from the other three quadrants to mix it together and get reliable predictions of positive outcomes from important choices, changes, decisions and actions at hand. You really can’t get to quadrant 4 without progressing through the previous three, but never-the-less many people think they can and doing so, but usually ending up with a lot of mixed outcomes and little certainty or useful learning.

Okay, now it is time to take this abstract “theory” and apply it to a practical, real life issue. I have to apologize for the simplicity of this application but space is limited (it could be a book with several practical applications, but you will get the idea).

Let’s say I live in a wooded, mountainous area with a ‘forest” of trees in my yard. An arborist visits my wife and points out about $10,000 of needed work with the trees to make them healthier and protect the safety of our dwellings on the land. “Wow,” I think, “that’s a lot of money and for what?” Time to dissect this problem:

Quadrant 1:

What we all know is that there are a lot of trees on the property, some are not healthy and there have been wind storms in the past that have blown down neighbors’ trees causing extensive damage. That’s about the extent of common knowledge.

Quadrant 2:

In this case I have to be honest with myself, the only thing I know is the cost of taking out six trees in Southern Illinois eight years ago, which is not at all similar to the present situation. And I haven’t lived here to know enough about this situation.

Quadrant 3:

There are a few important things I don’t know but others do know in this case. My wife has been living here longer than I have and so she knows what has actually happened with the trees and wind in the past and so future fears may be justified. The tree guy knows trees, this area and the cost of removal and trimming. The additional information both my wife and I need to know is a second onion as to the accuracy of the diagnosis and the fairness of the price.

Quadrant 4:

So what none of us know is the accuracy of the diagnosis, the fairness of the price and if anything bad will happen if we do nothing or whether a $10K expenditure now may save about $100K later on.

Actually the more good information you can uncover from the first three quadrants, then what nobody knows will be clearer and probably less, making the process of arriving at the best decision easier and more sure. Of course in the end, we all have to learn and share the best information we can, come to a realistic point that it is enough given allowable time, and have faith that you are making the right choice and taking the best action. When it works out for the best, you have a strategy you can use again the next time and if it doesn’t you have to go back through the quadrants to discover what wasn’t known and what needed to be known to bring about the right outcome. After all, Søren Kierkegaard was right, “life has to be understood backwards and lived forwards.

Author's Bio: 

William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA., along with being a Sport Psychologist, Business Success Coach, Photographer and Writer. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too (Executive Excellence), The Bow-Wow Secrets (Wisdom Tree), and Do What Matters Most and “P” Point Management (Atlantic Book Publishers). This article is an excerpt from an upcoming book Reality Repair Rx. Bill can be reached for comments or questions at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net