Sex is one of the most beautiful gifts God created. It is a holy performance. It brings the husband and wife together as one flesh. (Genesis 2:24.) That union is holy towards God; He willed it so. Sex brings a husband and wife closer to each other physically, mentally and spiritually. The one flesh symbolizes unity. When you become one with your spouse, even though there remain two separate minds, you are one with each other; your spouse becomes a part of you. For the rest of your living lives together, you are one. Therefore, you must be discriminate and careful whom you choose to marry. Having sex outside of marriage is to dishonor yourself and your spouse.


Men react and are attracted by sight. I will repeat this so you will realize how important that statement is. Men react and are attracted by sight. Women, we must understand this; it does not matter if he is a priest, a minister, a pastor, a bishop, a dad, or a husband, a man is a man. He is human. Do not knock him upside his head (with words of course) if a beautiful woman passes by and he glances at her. It is a natural reaction because she looks pretty in his sight.

When humans (male or female) see pretty things it makes them feel good inside and no one likes to feel bad. Therefore, if men are attracted by sight, and their wife looks gorgeous, he, and other men will be gazing at her. It gives him a pleasant feeling inside, to look at his pretty woman, especially if she is soft and feminine. If she looks unattractive all the time, it is a big turn off. Men feel proud when he sees other men glancing at his wife or girlfriend. Looking gorgeous does not mean your clothes are very skimpy and your privacy is beaming in the light, unless you are in the privacy of your bedroom or house alone with your husband. Dressing gorgeous means your hair and make-up are done in a manner that is attractive for your face type. The colors and type of dress you choose should enhance your figure and style. If a dress looks good on Jane Doe, does not mean it look good on you. We are all shaped differently. Choose your style that accentuates your gorgeous figure. Your smile should be radiant, and your face, pleasant. You are confident, if you are on a date with your husband and an attractive woman passes by or enters the room, you are not critical of her.

Sexy words

Soothing, romantic words, whispering in your ear, from your husband is a great turn on. Let him know you love to hear him saying these things to you. Let him know you love to hear nice, warm words repeated to you; not only during lovemaking, but also during the day. Let him know how important it is to both your sex life. If he does not know what to say, let him know what you would love to hear him say. Tell him to say what he likes about you, your body, the way you walk, anything that turns him on about you.

Communication (exchange of ideas, contact, transfer, love and understanding)

If things are not going well for both of you and you are unhappy with each other, perhaps it is time for both of you to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Do not blame each other. No shouting, please. Listen, listen, listen, and listen. Take into consideration what the other person is saying. Allow each other to speak their mind without judging or interrupting. Stop rushing around and listen. Close your bedroom door. Let the kids wash the dishes, watch a movie, etc. Wake up early and talk.

Even if you do not agree with your spouse; hear him/her out, because what he/she is saying is that you really hurt them. Believe me, you did hurt them. Ask for forgiveness. Apologize. Say you are sorry. Forgive and make a promise in your heart to stop hurting your spouse. We are all human and we all make mistakes. So please step down off your high horse before you fall and break something. Hear what the other person is saying and has been saying all along. Hear, listen, hear, listen, no matter how simple it may seem to you. Do not judge. If your spouse is evil, (what on earth are you doing with him/her in the first place?) pray to God for him/her and for yourself. Get professional help.

Hug, kiss and make up. Please do not forget your promise.

Look and act Sexy

A woman should take time out and purchase sexy nighties, panties and bras. If the norm for you and your spouse is to be always in the nude, ready for sex; try wearing sexy lingerie or something leather with high heel boots and put on a show for him. If you are always in flannel surprise him and be under the sheets nude or wearing a sexy panty. The sexy clothes should be for your husband only. Regular bras and panties should be for daywear. Be feminine and soft, not hard and loud. Imitate little girls. Pout, smile and be alluring. Admire his masculinity. I promise he will appreciate it.

A man should shower and smell sexy. Be patient with your wife. Gently massage her soft body and enjoy doing so. Foreplay is very important to a woman. Kiss her neck, etc.

Fun stuff together

You should practice your feminine stride without over doing it, so that when you go out on a date with your husband, you look and feel like a queen walking beside him. You can put on a fashion show in your bedroom for your husband with your feminine stride. Get some sexy high heels out with a sensuous outfits, (leather is very sexy) you can even dance for him and/or take your clothes off bit by bit. Wow, baby! Show your husband your wild side. Well, if you do not have a wild side it is never too late to begin. Okay. If you are dancing for him at night, make sure your shadow is not showing against any window even if the curtains or shades are closed. You do not want to attract anyone else or give Ms. gossip anything to gossip about.

You should learn fun ways in which you and your husband can have sexual fun together. Read good books regarding that subject matter.

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Copyright by Joan Wright Lewis, Jo-Val Publishing, LLC 2009

Author's Bio: 

Joan Lewis is an author and relationship consultant. She brings 20 years of experience to helping single women find their true love and women maintaining and having a happy relationships.