Dimming the lights, or turning them off and lighting candles instead, is one of the easiest ways to add romantic ambiance to your lovemaking experience or to change an ordinary dinner into something very sensual. Candles are also one of the most useful aids for creating your own romantic rituals and celebrations. Points of candlelight is a simple, utterly romantic ritual you can use to help elevate your relationship to a spiritual practice
and to send healing energy to those you love and care about.

Time for Exercise: 10 minutes

Properties Required:

Three candles, one larger and two smaller. The larger candle can be any size from a regular ten- or twelve-inch (25–30 cm) taper candle to one that is several inches (7.5 cm) in diameter. The other two candles should be smaller, e.g., if you use a twelve-inch (30 cm) taper for the larger size, use two six-inch (15 cm) candles for the two smaller ones.

A beautiful piece of cloth—you can find lovely cloth remnants at fabric stores for just a few dollars.


  1. Select and prepare a special location for placement of your candles, such as a small table, a wide windowsill, or the floor in front of a wood stove or fireplace. Set the space with a beautiful piece of cloth. Place the candles on the cloth.
  2. Stand, sit, or kneel in front of your candle arrangement.
  3. Light the larger candle. This candle symbolizes the source of all life, light, and love. This candle represents God, Goddess, Cosmic Consciousness, and The Divine.
  4. One at a time, light the smaller candles from the larger one. As you pick up your candle and light it from the source, say something such as the following: “This is my light, this is my life. I thank God this day for the gift of living. I thank you, my love, for sharing this life with me, for being at my side to share together our joys and triumphs, our sorrows and pains. Before God as my witness, I pledge my love to you as we grow old together.” You might say anything romantic and wonderful that you feel truly expresses your love, devotion, and adoration for each other. You can both say the same words or something completely different.
  5. The first person sets his candle down as the other one lights her candle and says her loving, sexy words.


    • Add any number of candles (points of light). As you light each one, you can remember your loved ones, someone who has died or is living far away from you, or someone you want to send healing life force to assist.
    • Light candles for your enemies with the intention of healing the separation between you.
    • One person alone can easily do these variations.


      To avoid damaging your lovely cloth with dripping wax, you can put sand in an open container, for example a shirt gift-wrapping box with the top removed. You can decorate the box so that it looks beautiful with colored tape and ribbon or paints. Place the box on your cloth and place the candles in the box. If the weather is suitable, consider moving this activity outdoors.

      Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their websites www.tantra-sex.com, www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.