What would you do differently in your life if you were
given the chance? What would you change now if you
were able to wave a magic wand and start from scratch?

No ties, no burdens, no limits, no memories, and no past.

What would that life look like? If the answer that comes
to your mind is different than what you are doing, why is
that? Why are you not doing what you want? Is it
because of someone else? A spouse, a parent - children?
I think the ultimate test is to close your eyes and place
yourself on your deathbed. (Fun, huh?) Now, look back at
your life as you are currently living it. What will you
think then? Will you be satisfied you lived completely?
Or will you wish you had done differently? Here is a clue.
Very few, if any, of our senior citizens look back on their
life and say, "I sure wish I had spent more time at the
office!" I do not think anyone says, "I wish I had watched
more TV!"

They say things like "I wish I had been bolder. I wish I
had given more to others. I wish I had tried harder to see
more, do more and feel more." In other words, people wish
that they had lived more.

I, for one, have to admit to a certain amount of holding
back on dreams and goals because of our two boys.
As my life progresses I realize there is no reason
to hold back.

On the other hand we have not been exactly standing still
either. We have done our best to live our dreams. We
built a sailboat and lived aboard for 7 years traveling
about 15,000 miles. We lived in the snow in Aspen Colorado,
and on the beach in Hilton Head South Carolina. We lived on
an old brick mill in Long Island, and on the dock in Palm
Beach Florida. We have written books and music, acted in
the theater, and home-schooled the boys. We have built a
horse farm, and businesses! Yet, there is so much more
we want to do!

Surely it is a balancing act. There must be sufficient
finances to support a comfortable lifestyle, (although
most of us tend to spend way too much on lifestyle).
Part of this balancing act comes from finding what we
are passionate about doing so that work becomes a joy
instead of a burden. I think this is a major reason of
lost dreams and goals. Many people find a job, call it
a job and make a living at it begrudging every minute of
it, and sometimes going as far as using the job as a
reason for playing the martyr. Find something else!

There are many, many teachers of the attraction
philosophies of "making a life". With as many opportunities
today in every field imaginable, somewhere, something is
calling to you.

Another part of the balancing act is to include those
around you in frank and open discussions in what it is
you want. I find some of my coaching clients have kept
their wants and needs bottled up inside them forever!
They had already decided for the other person in their
lives there was no interest in whatever it was they
themselves wanted to do! How absurd! How can we
possibly know what someone else wants! Would it not
be tragic to spend your life in a big city for 40 years,
working at a job you despise because you thought your
spouse liked it, even though you wanted to live in the
country and be a farmer? Then one day you overhear your
spouse tell her best friend all she ever wanted to do was
live in the country? 40 years!

Sure this is a bit far fetched but you would be amazed at
what I hear!

My point here is simply this: make an attempt today to
start with a brand new page. Write your life story how
you want it. If there are others in your life to be
involved, have them do the same exercise. Then compare
what you have written. If what you have written is what
you are living, congratulations! You are one of the few.
How can you make it better?

However if your written life stories sound like someone
completely different, then you are living a life of
conflict. Here is the good news. Your life is your life.
No one can take that away from you. You are not indentured.
You are not a slave. You are free to go, do, and be whoever
you wish.

It might not be easy, but it sure might be worth it. I coach
people daily who are changing their lives. There are so
many things to be grateful for, and so many things open to
us. We owe it to all the ones before us who gave us this
opportunity to take advantage of it.


Author's Bio: 

Miami Phillips has been coaching and consulting
individuals and small business executives since 1999.
Get the online video "Small Business Strategies for
Small Business Owners" - a powerful, no nonsense training
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