Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have many faces and most of them are hidden from others (and some from ourselves).

We put on one face when we are courting someone with romance in mind, another face when we are angry, another face when we think we are in control of someone, and yet another face when in the presence of someone whom we think has some control over us.

In fact, we have an infinite number of faces. We always call forth the face we think best responds to a particular circumstance. This brings to mind one of Shakespeare's quotations which said something to the effect that the whole world is a stage and we are but actors on it.

We mistakenly think we must use one face in a situation where we fear someone and another when in an encounter with a loved one. However, we even change the face we use with our loved one. Why do we feel we must do this? Can't we always use the same face with our loved ones?

It is possible to correct a child, or even another adult, without scowling at them or menacing them. We think it shows we are serious when we use a scowling face when it in fact makes us look ridiculous. I know of nothing that cannot be done with a loving or caring face which will not be more effective than doing it with a scowling or menacing face.

Showing fear to someone who threatens us only further encourages them. When we show a face that is unconcerned with the threat, we diminish the threat. Bullies can only bully those who allow themselves to be bullied.

How much easier would it be to concentrate on the demeanor (face) which was most suitable for you and forget all the other faces. No more wondering which demeanor was best for a given situation. Just use the one you have found most suitable for all occasions.

None of this is to be taken as a reason to be disrespectful or unkind. You can wear a face for all occasions and greatly simplify your life. Look at the mental effort you expend in constantly changing your face (demeanor). This energy could be better used in facing the challenges of life.

True, it will take a great amount of time and effort to create your face for all occasions, but think of the benefits you will gain. No more wondering which face to use in a particular situation, donning that face and then having to replace it moments later because the circumstances have changed.

Search your mind and see how many different faces you use. Give it some serious thought and you will be utterly amazed at the vast variety of faces you have used throughout your life.

Until they learn differently (from observing others with whom they come in contact), very young children only use two faces. A happy, contented face and a face showing discomfort or pain. Perhaps we have much to learn from those we are trying to teach.

I have often wondered how a child would evolve if it were never exposed to adults. It is something to think about.

Author's Bio: 

Copyright 2001 by Robert Taylor
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