Men are different than women. It should be pretty evident and yet there are still times when we lose track of the important differences that make us individual. One of those times when we forget is the source of a great majority of disagreement and arguments.
Young children grow up by gender group as a general rule. Little girls run and play with other little girls and little boys do likewise with their gender match. As you grow you get accustomed to the way your close friends and playmates think and respond. Once you begin to associate with the opposite sex this comes into play in communication.
As a boy you get used to how other boys think. Girls do the same and it carries into adulthood. Once you are around someone for a prolonged period you begin to develop a personal intuition of what the other person is thinking and going to say or do next. However, the accuracy of this process depends to a large degree on how you determine human patterns.
Boys think like boys and men think like men.
Girls think like girls and women think like women.
There are differences even between same gender people.
The early developmental gender traits create distance in the gender difference.
Men and women who are together for a long time begin to think they know the other person and what that person is thinking and going to say or do. However, time has done little to reduce the difference in the way they actually think as man and woman.
An adult man may be easily able to guess what another man is going to do based on his past boy to boy thought similarities. However, assuming that this is possible with a woman often leads to miscommunication and ill feelings.
First, there is the belief that he knows where she is coming from or her starting point for reference of emotional needs and feelings. He feels and thinks differently, but truly believes he is able to grasp her mindset regarding life. This is the natural solution process for the man. He establishes a clear point of reference and then analyzes the situation to provide the most viable solution.
He also knows what she is going to say before she says it. In fact, she doesn't even know what she is going to say before she says it because sharing information through discussion is how many women sort and reason out issues and concerns. The discussion is the therapy in a sense. Actually, if more men followed this example there would probably be less illness and heart conditions from them keeping the stress bottled up inside.
Women don't always need a solution and they don't especially like to be told that there is no problem when they are feeling concern. To do so is to disrespect their feelings and the substance and value of what they have to say.
None of us knows what the other person is thinking beforehand. Oh, we can guess or make assumptions, but that reality is not true and is usually not very reliable or useful. Men assume they know what the woman is thinking and women assume the man's intention based on his facial expression, attention span and body movements. Both are often incorrect when compared to the intentions and reality of actuality.
The human difference of gender and the developmental path of each gender does not allow for any good anchor points of reference to be shared by both genders. Therefore, it is almost assured that each man and woman will have somewhat different and often conflicting points of reference when viewing any situation or issue.
Men think women always want to know and women think men already know.
There is an intuition that you think you have that you really don't possess. Stop trying to use it to read the mind of your partner and go back to the basics of good family communication and understanding.
You'll both be glad you did.
Mr. Gentry has taken to heart the lessons shared with him over the years by his mentors. He continues to enrich himself through sharing his knowledge and insight with others in the attempt to better society by making even the slightest positive change in his fellow man.
Knowledge is worthless if it is not shared and utilized for positive direction and improvement.