Weeks drifted by with no sign of Ariya, or anybody else for that matter, but the silence was eerie, compelling me to look over my shoulder more often now. I was back where my enemies might find me, and my life was definitely in grave danger. They knew that I was still alive.

One morning just before dawn, Ariya appeared for last time during this early phase of my journey.
"I see you are still safe, my great king!" She said, as she swooped down in front of me from the treetops. "But you must be vigilant. The horse will protect you in my absence, as well as others yet unknown, but don't let your guard down."

She stopped speaking for a long moment while she seemed to gaze into my heart.

"You have made yourself worthy by staying true to your quest during these first five years of isolation," she continued, "and now your battle begins in earnest. Your heart and intuition long for the Source, but your strong mind and logic doesn't; they hate the Source because they want to be boss, and therefore will oppose the quiet, still voice of your heart every time.

"Your mind and logic desperately want to remain in the physical world, so naturally they want nothing to do with this quest for the key. They will attempt to convince you that your intuition and deep inner urgings are foolish, yet they will have only contradictory answers or solutions of their own to solve your fear and frustration. Since you have freewill, nobody can know how this battle will come out between these two opposing factions of logic and intuition. The victor remains to be seen."

"I have no misgivings," I replied, "My heart has prevailed for five years."

"Five years is a mere blink of time," she said, "and soon you will learn how difficult it is to distinguish between your heart and your mind. Only with more experience will you see that urgings coming from your heart are consistent, peaceful, and sure. Urgings from the mind, on the other hand, are impulsive, fearful, and frenzied. You feel that you must act immediately or something valuable will be lost. Keep this in mind and delay any important decisions until you can discern clearly whether the choice is being made by your heart or by your mind, for given time; a decision from your heart will remain stable, while one from your mind will slowly weaken."

"There were times," I replied, "when my resolve was weakened while I was in the forest and I almost returned home, Ariya, but after a few days, my heart kept me going."

"Yes, I know," she said, "and you have done well, but the struggle ahead will be far greater. It will be the most difficult thing that you have ever attempted, with an entirely unknown outcome. But you have fought this spiritual battle many times in the past, and, alas, each time you have obviously failed since you are still trapped in human form. The ones who fought these battles in your previous lives will not be remembered by your mind, but they were nobody but you, only in different bodies and minds. All that carried forward between your various lifetimes are the residue of every past action. So be forewarned; your actions follow you like tracks follow wheels."

"But I have done many regretful things just in this lifetime," I said. "How long will they continue to haunt me? Many questions such as this remain unanswered."

"I know of a little man who lives deep in the forest," Ariya replied. "He will go into all of this with you at a more profound level someday, if you are fortunate enough to meet up with him. I can see a meeting happening, but again, with your freewill I cannot be certain. In the meantime, remember that there is a storehouse of goodness in your heart, so try passionately to listen to its subtle voice at all times; it is your true teacher, and if you learn to follow it, you will find your key as surely as wind whispers.

"My great king, you have no idea of the inconceivable power of which I speak. I speak of Reality, the tiniest part of which dwarfs the entire material and immaterial existences in all the worlds. Reality is the basis of all existence; Reality supplies the consciousness for all things in all the worlds, and therefore existence itself cannot be real . . . for it is not Reality. Existence shifts about and changes constantly; if it didn't, we couldn't experience existence because experience requires movement. And that's why we can't experience Reality. We can know Reality when we touch it, but we can never utter a word about it.

"Your logical mind will therefore sneer at Reality, laugh at it, perhaps become angry about it, and go about its shortsighted business of its own; the quest for pleasure and the flight from pain. So as you come closer to the key, my king, always remember that your mind will tenaciously resist Reality, a resistance that will dwarf any previous battle you have ever fought, making previous battles seem as child's play. Therefore, be prepared, because more than just this present lifetime is at stake now. Are you ready?"

I had no idea what she was talking about, as usual, but I replied that I was indeed ready, and that I would find this key no matter the hardships, willingly surrendering my life if need be. I swore to her that I would never give up.

She didn't reply to my promise, but slowly drifted into the treetops toward the subtle light of dawn that was filtering into the forest awakening the dreaming trees. But as she was almost out of sight she called out, "Whenever you stop soaring, look closely at your broken wings."

Ariya's visits always left me alert and rested, as I absorbed some of her incredible strength. I could never understand all that she would say, but what she said made me feel good. So with renewed faith and a glorious day ahead of us, we were soon on our way again walking toward the west and into the unknown.

The wind sighing through the trees almost sounded like whispering voices, and I distinctly thought that I had heard something, but it was so soft and ephemeral that I merely shrugged it off as an overactive imagination. . . . ("Be careful what you love, it could kill you.")

(To be continued)

Author's Bio: 

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit www.AYearToEnlightenment.com