Connection is a two-way exchange of attention and energy. It is an inner freedom to give attention to others and receive attention from others. When you actually connect, you experience an exchange of psychophysical energy that feels good emotionally and physically.

The reason connection is so important is that everything in life runs off of connection. Nothing happens without connection. Connection happens on three levels. Connection to Self, with Others and with Spirit. Mysteriously, when you make connection with one of these three, you feel freer to connect with the other two.

Connection to self first gives you a sense of confidence and knowing who you are. You can feel what you feel and think what you think and express who you are.

Connection to others allows success in life. When you open to receive others it allows a stream of love, support, money and opportunities. We can say that all things come from God, but they come from God through other human beings. In the case of my speaking at The PBS conference, the opportunity came through Myra and Happy.

Connection to Spirit propels you to your highest potential. Spirit imbues you with a genius that is innate to your own Soul. It gives you access to all that you are meant to be.

No matter who you are or what you do, the ability to connect is an essential ingredient to success. The ability to make connection easily opens all kinds of possibilities –
for creating relationships, for sales and doing business, for leading groups, teams, families and for influencing family friends, clients and co-workers. AND on top of all that, the ability to connect makes life FUN! It is fun to move through the world and connect with all kinds of people!

At The Self-Expression Center in Houston, we teach a core concept called “receiving the flow of attention from others.” Receiving the flow of attention from others makes connection with other people easy. Everyone knows that they should make eye contact, but not many people feel comfortable making deep connection…so they will glance toward others… and not really connect, not really see individuals and not allow themselves to be seen.

I discovered a way to use your eyes that makes it feel safer to connect with individuals and groups. I call it a soft eye focus or soft eyes. In soft eye focus, you let your eyes go slightly unfocused and soft. Land your eyes gently on one person at a time, and imagine you drink them in through your eyes. Simply allow the energy of others to come into you and receive the impression of them, kind of like being a piece of photographic paper.

Using soft eyes causes you to see with the eyes of love. You see people with acceptance rather than with judgment. That feels safer and creates a heart connection with others. And it also has the effect of causing you to feel more connected to yourself and to Spirit because it is an act of sharing spiritual energy. The more you connect through soft eye contact, the more comfortable you feel in the world, the more success you generate, the more life feels fun!

Author's Bio: 

Sandra Zimmer works with high achievers who are struggling with communication and who may be uncomfortable speaking in groups. She helps them transform the way they express who they are so they feel confident to share their ideas, insights and expertise. Sandra has developed the Zimmer Method for Authentic Communication. Her method guides people through an experiential process that connects them to their natural abilities to express themselves when they speak, present, perform, sell or persuade.

Sandra is the president of Sandra Zimmer & Associates, Inc and the founder of The Self-Expression Center in Houston, Texas. She holds an M.A. in Theater from The University of Houston, a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Texas and is a Certified Lessac Voice Teacher. Additionally, she has more than 30 years of experience in the field of self-awareness.

Sandra Zimmer can be contacted at The Self-Expression Center,, and 281-293-7070.