Men are forcing themselves to suppress pain and by doing so, are also suppressing love. Humans cannot filter or suppress one set of emotions without impacting all emotions. He now appears to be insensitive, hardened, unfeeling, callous, thick skinned, numb, and sometimes dead.
Try cutting a large telephone cable in half. Looking at one end of the cut half of wire will help to understand this analogy. I believe if you cut a woman in half you will see the same thing. Colored wires of red, blue, green, yellow, orange, striped, non-striped and so on. Each wire would represent a different emotion. For example love, sadness, excitement, anger, happiness, disappointment, to name a few. Cutting a man in half, the reader will see only a black and a white wire. Just two. If the reader looks hard enough though, the other colors are all there--just like the woman. But, somehow all the wires became disconnected as he was growing up.
Women, if I can add one more hat to the many hats you already wear, please wear that of the telephone technician. Your job is to reconnect all of a man’s colored wires (his emotions). If you want to be heard, you will have to help him get in touch with his feelings. You will teach him to feel and to love, maybe never reaching your level but rising to a more significant level. You need to help him and guide him to increase the depth of his feelings and to bring them closer to yours.
This is where I get most of my women readers really upset at me. Here we go again. Why do I have to take the responsibility? When is the guy going to start pulling his own weight? Can’t he, this one time, take charge and be responsible for himself?
My only justification to the women is this: the man does not know, what he does not know. If he has never had the depth of feelings a woman has, how would he know that, and how would he know how to change it? By her unspoken desires or wishes? By osmosis? If you really feel this is not what you want to do and he is not worth all the trouble and effort you should walk away now. He won’t change without your help. In fact, it is possible he won’t change with your help. Or if he does, it still will not be enough to make you happy. It’s all up to you. But if you decide to work with him you must do it with enthusiasm and love.

Author's Bio: 

Wayne L. Misner is owner of Healthcare CIO, a consultant company in New Jersey. He has been in the healthcare field for forty years. In addition, he became the Vice President of Programs and Education for a NJ chapter of Parents Without Partners, where he moderated men and women’s groups across the state. For ten years, he had the opportunity to facilitate many groups of men and women who were struggling with not being able to listen. (The basis of his book – Men Don’t Listen, as well as many articles printed all over the world.) While at the Rehabilitation Hospital he also was a facilitator of the women’s group for both inpatients and outpatients.
Over all these years he has installed systems in Jersey Shore Medical Center (Meridian Health System), St. Elizabeth Hospital (Trinitas), and Morristown Medical Center (Atlantic Health System). In addition, he has directed the Information Systems Centers at Carrier Rehabilitation Hospital and Shore Memorial Hospital. As Vice President of the Princeton based NJ Hospital Association, Mr. Misner represented all the hospital members directing, “The Hospital Information System.”

He is the father of two sons and one daughter.


Disabled Korean Veteran with Bronze Service Star
New Jersey Distinguished Service Medal
Follmer Bronze Award
Reeves Silver Award
Muncie Gold Award
HFMA Medal of Honor Award