When the clock strikes midnight on January 1, 2011, the oldest of the baby boomers will turn sixty-five. This remarkable generation, the largest in American history will continue to have an enormous impact on the nation socially, economically and politically as later it ages, transforming old age as no other generation has before in history.

As men and women born between 1946 and 1964 grow older, their parents are also aging and those who have not already experienced the impact of aging on their parents will do so in the next decade. You may find yourself in the season of life where you are an adult child of an aging parent. The cost of travel, phone calls, hired help are tough on the family and your current lifestyle when you don't live in the same local as your aging parent, but it's the additional load of worrying and guilt that can be unbearable.

Is he / she all right?
How will I know if he / she isn't?
Should I be visiting more?
Should I take time off from work?
Am I giving enough?
Thoughtful preparation on your part could help to minimize the guilt trip. Make the most of your visits and the time you can give. Now more than ever organization and preparation are the keys to your success and your survival.

Lovingly Watch Out for Your Parent

Here are a few additional tips for organizing from a distance.

Establish a local support network as soon as possible. Make a list of friends, family or neighbors who live near your parent. Let these people know of your concern. They can be extra ears and eyes as well as caring friends. They can alert you when they notice signs of trouble and be available if there is an emergency.

If your parent lives alone, see if a relative, friend or neighbor will stop by occasionally to see how your parent is doing or perhaps drop off a meal or offer a ride into town. A synagogue, might know of volunteers who can check on your loved one. You may be able to hire a companion to spend time with your family member. Learn about any local elder watch programs, for example "Meals on wheels."

Phone calls don't always tell you what you need to know. Visit your parent so you can see for yourself what's really going on, and so you can make adjustments to your parent's home or get additional help when necessary.

Visit Your Parent

In advance of visiting, plan what you want to accomplish and anything you might need to discuss with your parent.
If you live far away, organize your visits in advance so you can accomplish as much as possible. If you need to meet with a doctor, lawyer, social worker, or other professional, set up appointments at least a month in advance, as their schedules get filled quickly. Be sure to confirm these appointments closer to the date.

When you are with your parent, take a mental inventory of her health and living situation. Try to foresee trouble before it happens.

Does your mother seem wobbly or dizzy?

Is she well groomed, or has her personal hygiene deteriorated?

Is there ample food in the refrigerator?

Is the food spoiled and moldy?

Are there piles of unopened mail or unpaid bills?

Does she still do the things she used to, like read, knit, and do the crossword puzzle?

Does it appear that she's getting out, seeing friends?

If things seem askew or different than they used to be, it may be a sign of underlying trouble...depression, confusion, illness, diminishing eyesight, or simply a signal to you that she needs more help at home and opportunities to get out.
Include some time during your visit to talk with nearby relatives, friends or others who see your parent regularly both to hear their thoughts and concerns and to thank they for helping in any way that they do.

Check out local services and facilities. See what hospital is best, what nursing homes are acceptable, and what community services are offered.

Even though your life is busy be sure to spend some time simply being with your parent, chatting listening, watching a movie or just sitting quietly. A trip that's all business misses a critical element. Find time to relax to listen to offer support.

Help Your Parent Prepare for Emergencies

Discuss and call a company that provides an emergency response system to help your parent get immediate help in case of a fall or other health emergency.

Set up speed dial to automatic all dial out for help on your parent's phone. Create a folder for emergency medical technicians with instructions of who to call including pictures of the people they will be reaching. It might also be helpful if your parent's personal address / phonebook is set up with small photos along with the contact information.

Above all take care of yourself. Recognize and accept the limits of what you can do and give yourself credit for all you are doing. Don't hesitate to ask for help or use community services. And finally, get support from friends or a Seasons of Life Coach to help you alleviate stress and guilt.

"How to Practice Guilt Free Self Care in Times of Stress"; to download Janie's report visit http://janiebehr.wordpress.com/

Author's Bio: 

I am a Life Coach and motivational speaker, specializing in helping baby bommers find happiness.I have been trained by Oprahs coach Dr. Martha Beck. I have a masters degree in Social Work and have been trained by Oprah's coach, Dr. Martha Beck. I have worked in this field for over 15 years. I have been interviewed on TV, radio and recently visited the President in the Oval Office.