Tragedy Can Heal Troubled Relationships

When tragedy strikes people really do come together. A friend of mine shared a story with me...

“We have had nothing to do with our extended family for more than ten years but when one relative’s baby lost its life moments after delivery we knew silence wouldn’t be right. The fact we are blood relatives took over – with heart and with love. Sending a token of that love with a caring message had to be done. It didn’t matter we weren’t part of each others lives anymore, and it didn’t mean we would be in the future - it simply meant we felt the pain too. We were heart broken, we were sad and thinking of them every second and worried, hurting and in disbelief. We wanted to take some of their pain upon ourselves so they didn’t have to feel it so fiercely.”

I wonder how many of the tragedies we see on TV each night heal relationships. All the murders, holiday accidents and crashes must draw lots of people together. In some cases, nothing from the past may matter anymore. In tragic happenings all you want to do is help, care and love those who are hurting. It doesn’t mean the previous problems don’t need to be addressed or sorted out – perhaps they still do (or if petty maybe they fall right off the radar) and people can get back to just loving each other.

Maybe tragedy is one of those ‘find the good in every situation’ moments. And there is good in every situation – even rapes and murders it seems strange to say. Everything happens for a reason. Tragedy can send you on a new path, cause new decisions, new action, get you helping others for example:
*A lady was so upset after a miscarriage she started a support group that ended up helping a lot of other women in her city.
*Author Joyce Meyer was horribly sexually abused as a child. She has built her past pain and experience into a career that helps MILLIONS of people worldwide overcome the problems and pains in their own lives.
*Author Louise Hay was also raped and abused as a child. Then she developed cervical cancer. She was certain it was because she couldn’t let go of the resentment she felt about those experiences. She refused treatment and instead managed to heal herself completely of her cancer (using forgiveness, nutrition, therapy and nutrition).

If these ladies hadn’t suffered such huge pain they wouldn’t have been able to change the lives of millions who were also seeking healing of their various wounds. The reason they succeeded is because over time they found the tools and knowledge to process their pain and experience so it no longer held them hostage. This allowed them to use those experiences for good.

So what can tragedy do for your relationships? I don’t recommend seeking it out (there are much less painful ways of healing your relationships) but when it does strike, love often becomes more important.

If it strikes you:
*Let loved ones gather around you.
*Focus on what is important - don’t try and sort out past problems now.

Allow yourself to go through the stages of physiological responses:
1 Shock and disbelief
2 Rage and ange
3 Defensive reactions
4 Despair and depressio

5 Reflective grief
6 Positive behaviornn*Get tools that help you i.e. google searches, talking, counseling, self-help books (especially those by Joyce Meyer and Louise Hay).