Trusting - A spiritual message

Like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, trust falls into three bowls: “Too hot,” “too cold” and “just right.”

There are those of us who can be too trusting, those not trusting enough, and those fully balanced in healthy trust. -- This column speaks to the people who distrust too much and are seeking the “just right” choices in life.

According to author Stephen M. R. Covey, “...Trust is based on principles of empowerment, reciprocity, and fundamental belief that most people are capable of being trusted... The opposite ... is to withhold trust, which creates an enormous cost everywhere...”

Creating a healthy trust requires confidence, practice and patience, as well as an effective conscious awareness that you’re offering others a helpful benefit of the doubt.

Benefit means “something good,” whereas doubt is “a feeling of uncertainty about the truth.” (Webster’s dictionary)

Consciously offering someone the benefit of the doubt is being able to find something good among your feelings of uncertainty no matter how bleak your original perceptions may be.

I know all too well what it means to distrust.

When I was a teenager, I was stuck in a negative pattern.

I distrusted everyone I met, which also meant an unconscious distrust in my Self.

Everywhere I turned, people appeared to be dishonest, unreliable, uncaring, and conniving.

These twisted perceptions took me down a long black tunnel time and time again.

Are you conditioned to not offer others the benefit of the doubt?

Do you often distrust so much that your mind comes up with negative scenarios more often than not?

If so, it’s important to understand this. -- Building healthy relationships requires a solid foundation of trust. Without it, you’ll be left with fatal cracks that will leave you very much unsettled.

Not offering others the benefit of the doubt will leave you trapped in an unhealthy and emotionally disturbing “worst case scenario” each and every time:

Someone looks at you funny? They must be out to get you.

A loved one’s late? They’re in danger or dead.

A stranger called and hung up when you answered? Your partner must be having an affair.

Why is this always happening?

Because our brains are only capable of focusing on one thing at a time, and when a negative thought hits, a wall will immediately go up and block out any good feelings from your mind... even when other’s intentions were good.

So, how do we get unstuck?

Five easy steps:nn Turn the doubt over in your mindn Replace it with a more positive scenarion Utilize your inner-voice and ask for internal guidancen Stick with the facts and not your suspicious presumptionsn Tune in to only true intentions

By simply being more mindful and aware, the moment the worst case scenario comes to mind, you’ll be able to consciously think about something more pleasant and begin reprogramming your brain to move all your thoughts in a more positive direction.

It all begins within -- an obedient trust in you!

Copyright: © 2009 by Soul-Felt Words, Inc. - ETEnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn