Truth or Dare

So, my dog ate a ten dollar bill in the prosperity corner of my house today. And I will get to the relevance of this canine maneuver in a minute. Let me first pose our ASK MARYANNE question which is, “When I ask someone I just met an important question, like ‘Are you married?’ or ‘Do you have an STD?’ how do I know if he is telling me the truth about it?” For those with a shorter attention span, the answer is—you won’t—so Maryanne sez, don’t sleep with them until you find out for sure. And even then, there are thirteen or so other questions you need to know before you even consider entering into that sacred contract and dropping your drawers! That’s right.

Here comes the long-winded answer, for the patient folks. But first the dog. So I see this crumpled up thing—it’s green. Does not resemble regular puppy paraphernalia from a distance. I hone in and as I get closer I realize it looks suspiciously like money. I admit I’m a little excited (I just love finding money in my pocket or...anywhere really). I lean down to reclaim what turns out to be a tattered half of a ten dollar bill. I look round for the rest and find a few other scraps that match and now I am on a mission to reconstruct this note—to no avail, I am afraid—when my 17-year-old walks in and informs me casually, “You can take any denomination of money into the bank that’s been ripped as long as you have 52% or more of it in your possession.” I look at him like he’s Einstein and said “Where did you learn that?” to which he flippantly replied, “Uh...in fourth grade,” grabbed his vitamin water and disappeared. Suddenly feeling ten dollars richer(and slightly embarrassed I missed that class in the fourth grade) I look at my dog and instead of being upset I think, now why would a dog eat money? Is it because the prosperity corner had her in some trance? (For those of you who haven’t fallen under the spell of the latest fad of feng shui, of feng sha nay nay as I like to joke, it’s an ancient practice having to do with the flow of energy as it relates to space and things. Not Webster’s definition by the way , for you fanatics I am sure will look it up and correct me. Love that about you guys. Anyway.) Okay so now I am on a tangent about why dogs eat anything, and suddenly am left to ponder why they seem to have so little discrimination—or maybe it’s what I said, she was under a spell. So because I wanted to know I ended up telling myself, “She’s a dog, that’s what they do” and left it at that. Number one, because I couldn’t ask her, and number two, it wasn’t something I cared enough about to waste any more time over.

So what the flock does this have to with the ASK MARYANNE question which is, how will you know when someone is telling you the truth? Well, unlike my dog, the person you are interviewing as a potential partner can speak—but unlike my dog, you cannot come to such conclusions so easily without potentially putting yourself in harm’s way. If I asked my dog why she ate the money, being a dog she would probably say ‘cause it was there. As for your interviewees, they have brains that have well-developed behavior patterns and strong personality tendencies to go with them, and it is your job to take care to research whether or not what this person does and says match. In real life when it comes to human beings, you will have to take this kind of vigilance and commitment over time—and bottom line that’s what it takes to know if people are who they say they are! Maryanne sez, “Watch what people say and what they do and make sure they match (before you drop your drawers).” Oh and my 8-month-old puppy’s name is Bella…