Unintentional Imprinting

Part of being aware of our thoughts, has brought you surely to the discovery of certain tapes, that are, or have been running through your subconcious mind, and the filters that we view everything though, partially rooted in our own childhood.
Knowing of those tapes, alows us to become aware as parents, that we are a major part of creating a healthier self-talk system for our children.

While we all are carefull not to curse in front of kids, or speak in any other inappropriate way, but was is casually directed toward them, can also have the major impact burning into those tapes and filters of their lives.

Let's examine two categories:

The "Doom" - Statements:

Examples
"Be careful, you are going to fall!"
"You are going to get hurt!"
"You are an accident waiting to happen!
"Slow down, you are going to knock something over!"

Those sentences and their likenesses, while their purpose is defently that of safety and concern, can have another effect then as desired, exspecially if offered on a regular basis.

Examine one sentence in more detail.
"Be careful, you are going to fall!"

First part, again with good intention said, offers no direction to the child. What is he suppossed to be careful off? What do you expect to happen? What is she suppossed to do? From what direction is the danger comming from? Should she be afraid of everything?

If you need your child to stop immidiatly, keep it simple, and get their attention, through a short "Stop". Once there action has seized, they are actually listening to what you are about to say. Now they are focused on you!

"You are going to fall" - the second part of the statement does not describe a fact, unless you consider, that now your child will become insecure about his actions, loose its focus and your doom-prediction is more likely to come true - which is usually followed by an "I told you, see?"
Or worse, nothing happens, and Mom and Dad loose credibility in the eyes of the child, as they are making false statements on a regular basis. The next time, you need them to stop an action, their reaction might be, that they will ignore your sentences completly!

A better solution, would be, after you received their attention, to explain yourself, for example: "Only jump on the bed, when I am in the room, so I can catch you, clear?"

"Lack - off" - Statements:

Another set of statements, that I am going to adress today, imply that their is not enough to go around of something.

For example:
"That's the last one, share that with your brother."
"Eat everything on your plate, or there won't be any desert"
"Don't waste so much ketchup!"
Don't get your clothes dirty!"

Let's examine one of those statements closer.
"That's the last one, share with that with your brother!"

Sharing is a wonderful action, to be defenetly taught and commended, and should be emphasized through modeling that behavior, it's implied reasoning here, is that the reason for sharing is that there is a lack of. How true is the statement at the beginning?
"That's the last one..."
The last one until you go shopping, or the last one that you are willing to hand out. The sentence implies as is, implies the last one in existance for the child. Remember, children will take you literall, they are not good at abstract concepts, and as younger as they are, as more literal will they take you.
A constant rushing, or descring of what there is not enough of, will become eventually a believe, if heard enough of, which they have to painstakingly free themselves from as adults, in order to be able to create abbundance in their lives.

By being more specific, more detailed with your speech toward your child, the more likely are your words taken as the absolute truth. Trust, the bond between the two of you, and a love toward life in general, implanted now, will become the root for an healthy, productive adulthood.