Valentine's Day Barbecue Checklist

Valentine’s day is just around the corner and it’s time for us men to get our act together and spoil our wives, partners, fiancées and girlfriends. St Valentine is the patron saint of lovers so it’s time to show our love so I’ve jotted down a few ideas and reminders of some of the things you can do but remember I am the “Barbecue Smoker Recipe Man” so there’s a BBQ slant to that all important point about how to cook a meal for your loved one.

First let’s cover the basics, and remember guys, this is entry level. In her eyes this isn’t nice to have, it’s MUST have!

It’s always good to start with a card, in fact if you forget the card then you might as well forget the rest of the day. Flowers are the other essential and red roses are traditional but this year maybe it’s time for change. I’m going for lilies simply because the red rose is a bit predictable, there’s always the dilemma about how many to get but the main reason for me is that lilies provide such a great splash of colour.

The final essential is the meal. We’re having a great start to the year, whether it’s down to Global warming or not I don’t know my this year is turning out to be one of the mildest on record and so many of my friends are already turning to the barbecue. I know I will be, but if you do please remember that especially when it comes to a Valentine’s Day Barbecue you really must break the sexual stereotype! If you haven’t grasped it yet, check out the BBQ rules below and make sure you don’t end up in the same situation!

BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the spring and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to jog your memory on the etiquette of this ever more important outdoor cooking activity.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill with a beer in his hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(5) The woman heads inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman rushes outside to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

Happy Valentine’s Day!