Where's The Pain?

A few months ago I started to suffer from severe hip pain, which I later discovered turned out to be the end stages of osteoarthritis. It often kept me awake at night so the horrible nightmare that suddenly loomed one dark night was probably the last thing I wanted at that time!

I woke myself up screaming and suddenly felt frightened and all alone...

... and was overcome by a wave of feeling that coursed through my whole being. I turned over to reach out for the comforting arms of my partner only to find he wasn’t there to give me the hug of reassurance I so badly needed at that time. In fact I already knew he had gone to sleep over at his mother’s place that night, but not being there when I really needed him, triggered something in me ...

... deep emotional pain from the past.

I was brought up by an alcoholic father and an overstressed, highly strung mother of five. Constant worrying and stressing took up so much of her time there wasn't really any left over for us. Needless to say,I ended up taking on the role of caring for my parents. My needs were last on the list and often didn’t get met at all. It was a Love-Pain relationship, a life of self-sacrifice and I was left longing for a love that never came. They just weren't there for me.

Now it might not seem immediately obvious but there is a rather interesting connection here with the excruciatingly high level of pain I was also suffering from osteoarthritis of my right hip which had recently become inflamed - as if the hip pain was shouting out that it really wanted to be listened to. I believe pain is here to get our attention and sometimes if don't listen straight away it just gets louder and louder until we are 'driven' to do something about it!

I realised I was faced with at least two choices. I could of course take the conventional 'surface level' path of pain management and start a course of pain relieving medications - and for the first few days I did, as an emergency measure. The other choice was more in line with my belief that all pain has an underlying deeper level cause that, once addressed can remove the need for pain to manifest in the first place.

This meant finding a quiet space, bringing all of my focus to the hip and asking a deeper than surface question - 'Where's the pain?'

You see, pain has different levels.

When the doctor asked me where it hurt, I let him know it was my hip, that my movements were stiff and restricted and that some related areas like the right groin, knee and lower back where also in pain. He examined me by moving my leg mechanically up and down and from side to side to see where it hurt. The whole focus was physical and produced more than a few 'ouch!' noises, some prescribed medication, a physio appointment and a referral to the orthopaedics department of the hospital for more specialised investigation.

Coming from a background of Journey Therapy and as an EFT Specialist on the other hand I also decided to address the pain at a different and deeper level. So when I turned inwards and asked my deeper self where the pain was, my hip whispered in answer 'feeling unsupported and unloved' and I experienced an inner urge to let go and resolve these issues, to come to some kind of completion, in order to move on and step forward confidently in life again.

Interesting that my hip is needed to 'step forward' ...

Through the use of deep inner reflection, focused visualisation and energy healing akin to acupressure I found myself opening to a place of peace and deep inner support as I let go of the pain of the past that had apparently been stuffed down into the very cells of my right hip. At the same time I found the hip pain going down so dramatically that I didn’t need to continue taking the pills any more. What a great relief!

My nightmare, in relation to all of this then made much better sense. It had in fact been a 'wake-up' call (hm-mm!) alerting me to the deeper hurts of feeling unsupported and unloved. It was a ‘clearing out’ process at the same time, like the sudden rush of a huge wave as my body energy, like a river that had been clogging up with 'emotionally charged' debris over the years, finally become unblocked and began to flow freely and naturally once again.