The word romance is associated with the notion of being vulnerable in men's minds. They are conditioned to perceive being romantic as being feminine or being a wimp. Even the meaning of the word romance is confusing to men in general.

I took upon myself the task of asking the men whom I ...
The word romance is associated with the notion of being vulnerable in men's minds. They are conditioned to perceive being romantic as being feminine or being a wimp. Even the meaning of the word romance is confusing to men in general.

I took upon myself the task of asking the men whom I encountered in my daily life about their perceptions and definitions of the word romance and discovered that there was no distinct consensus to the concept of romance among men. Some told me that having a quickie in the spur of the moment is romantic. Others perceive it as a word created by women to get back at men for all those years of oppression that they went through at the hands of men. One individual contemplated for a moment and then he told me that romance signifies making women feeling good at the expense of making men uncertain about their identities. I could not believe my ears hearing an individual telling me, that he perceived romance as a group of lies that men say to get women into bed. One man came close to the general comprehension of romance by perceiving it as an attempt to court the lady in one’s life to entice her to be his wife or girlfriend. The final conclusion that I draw from my discussion with men was that they are ignorant about romance as they are about every aspect of a relationship. Watching football all afternoon means being romantic to most men. Men feel that allowing the ladies in their lives the pleasure of being their waitresses, are the ultimate romantic notions. Their women should make sure that you have enough snacks and drinks so the lazy bums wouldn't get their asses up and go to the fridge to get their own drinks and snacks for fear that they may miss few seconds of the game. Going hunting or playing ball with a group of misfits while leaving their ladies keeping the castles clean and tidy for the return of their kings from their trips, is considered romantic by some men. Cooking and cleaning after a hard day at work while the bums sitting watching television without any consideration of offering their help to their ladies, is seen in some distorted minds of men as being romantic. Spending thousands of dollars to buy bowling or golfing equipments while being absolutely stingy when it comes to buying a bouquet of flowers for a special occasion for the ladies in their lives, is conceived in some klutz of men as being romantic. Forgetting the ladies birthdays and anniversaries among other important occasions implies in the men zucchini brains as being romantic. No wonder, women have the justified notion that men are not romantic.

I perceive romance as attempting even the impossible to instigate within the lady in one’s life the secure feeling of being appreciated for enriching one’s life. A single rose on a weekly basis with a tender note attached to it stating that one feels extremely fortunate to have her in one's life. Hugs, touches and kisses given in abundance are simple ways to show appreciation toward one’s lady. A telephone call in the middle of the day to her work with a joke or a simple indication of having her in one’s thoughts would help brighten up her day and make it bearable. Leaving work early and waiting for her in front of her work with a suggestion to take her to dinner and a movie would initiate within her the feeling of being loved and appreciated. Going home early and preparing a candle lit dinner and creating anticipation by putting a note at the door inviting her to enter and not to be afraid. When she opens the door, another note is waiting for her telling her that she is close and should follow the direction written in the note which will lead her to a table with dinner and candle for two. The man dressed elegantly waiting to seat her. Seeing you taking the time and exerting the effort to create this wonderful surprise for her would transfer her and her prince, you, to the paradise of love.

Women whom I encountered expressed their perceptions of romance in a manner that one can draw a common conclusion. The majority of women to whom I posed the question concerning their definitions and their perceptions of romance indicated that they wish to be appreciated, made feel wonderful about their feminine and mental assets and not be taken for granted. Some implied that being given flowers from time to time is conceived as being romantic. Preparing a candle lit dinners for two is perceived as being romantic. Buying an expensive gift and wrapping it nicely to present it to one’s lady would be considered romantic. Walking hand in hand while absorbing the beauty of nature is another manner in which a man can display his romanticism. The problems pertinent to the question of being romantic or not are originated from the variance of the perception of what would be considered romantic among the man and the woman in a relationship.

It is very common that you encounter couples with views concerning romance as far apart as the sky and earth. One must be honest and talk about every aspect of a relationship, including romance upon meeting for the first time and continue the discussion of their expectations from one another concerning being romantic, if the circumstances arise and they become a couple. The apprehension of discussing these issues for the fear of scaring one off, will lead to a disastrous relationship in which the woman, the man or both lack fulfillment of their romantic notions. We are conditioned to be too cautious and afraid to open up which leads to being imprisoned within walls of fear and caution. We wait for the right time, in our conditioned minds to talk freely and when that time arrives for opening up, it is too late because one is too involved to risk it all by opening up. Another factor that leads to the disappointment from the women, men or both sides concerning the fulfillment of the romantic notions within them is the pretension of being romantic that is assumed by the man or the woman to entice the other during the span of their courtship. Both the man and the woman should be completely truthful and be themselves from day one to avoid the heartaches that would result from falling in love with the person the other pretending to be.

Author's Bio: 

An established author. Published few books on the behavior of human beings in general and the relationships between the two genders in particular.