When I speak to an audience on the topic of "Create A Life You Love", we look at the things people spend most of their time on, and then compare these to the things they really want. Do you think the two are aligned? NO WAY!

You're either aligned or you're not. There is a unique set of values for YOU, that if followed, will allow you to live a fulfilled life. On your death bed you will be able to look back with a smile, knowing "I LIVED MY LIFE!". If your current priorities are fully aligned with these, then congratulations! I'd love to hear about it. You probably have a sense of contentment and fulfilment.

If your current priorities are significantly "out of whack" with what's REALLY important to you, you are probably very busy, constantly rushing, a little stressed, and when you get what your chasing - it's never enough! You turn around and go: "NEXT!". This is because we can never get enough of what we don't really want.

The "Things We Chase" list often includes: money, fame/recognition, sex, power/responsibility, achievement, big house/car, more time.

The "Things we REALLY want" list often includes: love, intimacy, adventure, peace, security, creativity/expression and freedom.

If you still think you really want something on the first list....... think again. Ask yourself: "When I get the car/house/promotion/money...what will I have then?" You'll probably find the answer on the second list. For example, a client of mine thought she wanted to accomplish and achieve. It turned out what she REALLY wanted was to feel accepted - the achieving was really an attempt to feel accepted.

Ellen Goodman says: "Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so that you can pay for the clothes , car and house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it".

The fact is: we can never get enough of what we don't really want!!

So why is it we spend our time on the first list, and not directly on the second? Some say it's because we settle; we accept money, One audience member said: "We believe that if we get the things we're chasing - money, recognition, sex etc. - then we'll have the love, peace, security etc. we REALLY want. But does it really work that way??

WHY NOT GO STRAIGHT FOR THE GOOD STUFF? Go straight for love, adventure, security, peace, or whatever floats your boat, and get OFF the treadmill.


OK - time to reassess your own priorities.

Ask yourself: "What's ONE thing I want more of in my life?" Really! If an angel floated down and said you get ONE thing, or more of one thing you already have, and nothing else in life, what would you pick? Is it money? Power? Fame? Love? Adventure? Peace? Full self expression? (For an extended list of great values, click here: mailto:coach@lifecoaching.com.au?subject=ValuesListRequest).

What do you spend your time chasing? If you value intimacy or "strong friendships" most - do you actively build and strengthen your friendships, or do you spend your time working on making more cash? Do the "80 test": imagine lying on your death bed looking back at your life. Will your current set of priorities - the things you're NOW chasing - allow you to look back on your life and smile, knowing you lived life to the fullest?

If you're aligned - congratulations! If not, now's the time to write down HOW you are going to realign. What are you willing to give up to realign? Specifically what is the action you will take?

Perhaps an example will help: Suppose you've been spending too much time at the office chasing achievement or money, and you're now realigning towards health and vitality. What's the maximum number of hours you'll work each week, and EXACTLY what will you do now during those saved hours that supports your health and vitality?)

Author's Bio: 

David Wood is a personal coach, and a Director of CoachCampus - an online coach training company. He asks people “What do you want?? and “What are you doing about it??

He coaches individuals in several countries via e-mail and telephone, and speaks to organisations on topics such as 'Create A Life You Love'.

David specializes in helping women get what they want and deserve from their relationship, and helping new coaches get started in the career of life coaching.

Professional Affiliations: International Coach Federation, National Speakers Association of Australia, Institute of Actuaries of Australia.

To subscribe to the Create a Life You Love Newsletter, and for free information packs on coaching, visit http://www.life-coaching-resource.com

Receive past issues in one bulk email by sending a blank email to archivecreate@life-coaching-resource.com

Copyright 1999-2001 LifeSkills Coaching. All rights reserved.