Do you know how to compliment your child? Strangely enough, many parents don’t. If you only heard criticism growing up, you may need to learn the words and actions in order to build the self esteem and character of your child.

Combine the compliment with a smile or hug

Verbal language is the communication of information and may not always be heard or remembered. Body language is the communication of relationships and will be stored in minds and hearts long after the actual fact. By combining a hug, pat on the back or warm touch on the arm to indicate approval, you have extended the life of a compliment forever. Remember, it is not how you feel about your child; it is how your child perceives you feel about him that is important.

Say words to show you care

Wow—Way to go—I trust you—You are fun to be with—Well done—You mean a lot to me—You are really a good friend—Hey, you figured it out, I knew you would—I have confidence in you—You make me so happy—You make me laugh with your jokes—That is neat handwriting—You are really getting better at that—You are really on your way—Good for you—I was proud of you today—That was hard and you did it anyway—That was great to see you keep trying—You really showed how kind you were today—You mean a lot to me—Excellent job—You really know how to listen—You really brighten my day—It is such a pleasure to see how you treat other people-You are on your way—Good job—You have the secret—Hurrah for you—You are such a sharp dresser-What an imagination—You’re growing up—I really respect you—Thanks for being you-Awesome.

Look for the positive

For every thing a child does wrong, he or she does 19 things right! Don’t just focus on what needs correcting, but on what needs encouraging. Try to see how many nice things you say to your child and your self in a 24 hour period. By acknowledging your own successes, you help your child to look for the positive and recognize when things go right. I challenge you to compliment his or her efforts at least 6 times a day.

You can do it. I believe in you.

This article was written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator, author and international speaker from Missoula, MT. She can be reached at 406-549-9813 For other free articles and special reports as well as a complete listing of books, CD’s, and workshops on the journey of life please see to schedule a workshop please contact her at

Author's Bio: 

Parent educator Judy H. Wright works with Head Start staff, child care resource centers, schools and parent organizations internationally.

She is a powerful and popular presenter for adults who love and work with children. She walks the walk and talks the talk as a mother of six adult children and seven great grandkids who like themselves and each other.

Author of over twenty books, she also writes articles on all aspects of human relationships for many magazines.

The artichoke is her logo and symbolizes, “finding the heart of the story in the journey of life.” The website contains a full listing of books, workshops, clients and testimonials. She may be reached at 406-549-9813