You Are not Your Emotions

Does your self confidence decrease when you feel lonely or depressed?
Do you feel that you are worthless when in a bad mood?

If your answers were yes, then your problem is considering that you are your emotions.

Self-confidence and Emotions

The main element that causes lack of self-confidence is having your self-worth dependent on an external factor like having a nice girl friend or having a good job. The problem with such a way of thinking is that as soon as you loose the external object, you lose your self-confidence along with it.

The problem is that some people make their self-confidence mainly dependent on their emotions!! That is, if they feel good they are confident, while if they feel lonely or depressed they lose this confidence.

Of course if the emotional problem was temporary, then so is the lack of confidence. But what happens if the problem is long-term? What if you were lonely for a six month period? What will happen if that was your way of thinking? What would happen is that your self-confidence will be completely eroded by these emotions, and the more you remain in this situation, the worse the damage will be.

What to Do Then?

The correct thing to do is to fix your belief about the relation between self-confidence and your emotional state. You should know that, as humans, everyone of us is subject to feeling bad or lonely at one time or another. Experiencing any of these emotional problems does not have any other explanation except that you are a normal human being!! Normal people feel bad just like they feel happy, they may feel lonely just like they experience intimacy. You have to separate between each emotion you feel and between your self-confidence. You are not your emotions!

Doing that is simple. Whenever you feel like your self-confidence is being eroded because of bad emotions, say “no, it’s not right to lose my self-confidence just because I'm in a bad mood. I am not my emotions, and feeling bad does not make me an exception, it just makes me a human.”

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