Your Blissful Life: Your Commitment

Now that you have specifically defined your blissful life, you must take the first step in the walk toward what you want. This step toward the life you desire so greatly requires making a personal commitment to achieving it. Doing this is much more than simply stating you are committed to achieving it. You must execute a personal contract with yourself. A personal contract is your way of promising yourself and documenting exactly what you are going to do and when you will do it. Stating your goal is dreaming, writing them down and committing to them using your personal contract is called goal setting.

Signing your personal contract clearly states that you are committed to achieving your blissful life. You will overcome all obstacles and roadblocks, regardless of origin, in achieving your blissful life. Many studies over the years have shown that those who write down and personally commit to their goals achieve more than 80% of the time, versus those who merely state their goals.

So, whom should you share your personal contract with to ensure you achieve your goal? This is a great question. No matter who you share it with, you must be willing to permit them to hold you accountable for reaching your stated goals that will enable you to achieve your blissful life. This person will be your accountability partner for the journey. They, too, must be willing to tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. Their job in this process is to assist you, using any means necessary, in reaching your goal. Sometimes that means encouragement, at other times a good kick in the seat of the pants. This is the reason that most people prefer a complete stranger as their accountability partner rather than a family member or friend. In either case, you must give them permission to hold you accountable for reaching your goals.

The accountability partner I chose was a coach who I had come to know through my discovery phase. I wanted someone who would be willing to kick me if necessary, and yet still be supportive of my efforts. This individual was the perfect person to do this for me. We worked out an arrangement that would compensate them for their time and was affordable for myself. It was at this moment that I finally had committed myself to achieving my blissful life. Up until this moment, I had merely done lip service to achieving it. The journey to your blissful life can be fun and exciting, while at other times it will be difficult. My accountability partner really helped me through those difficult times.

If you select accountability partner and the relationship isn’t working for you, don’t worry. Just let your accountability partner know that the fit isn’t what you need it to be. The two of you can adjust how you are working together, or perhaps you can even find a new accountability partner. This is a very common occurrence. The fact that the relationship needs to be adjusted or another accountability partner chosen does not reflect on either one of you. It merely demonstrates that you need a partner that is more useful for you. This is the same reason that some people drive red cars, other drive blue ones, and still others drive yellow ones. Neither is better than the other, they are just different. It’s okay!

I initially attempted to execute my personal contract by myself. What I found was that I was constantly finding myself off-track. Why? There are many reasons. It is very easy to do because of your comfort with your existing patterns or habits. You see, as you begin executing your personal contract, you are re-training yourself. My tendency was to go back to what I knew, to what was easy and safe. Unfortunately, it was not what I wanted! It was at this point that I realized I needed assistance in achieving my blissful life. I immediately began my search for assistance.

The first step in this search was to make a list for the type of person I needed. Just like buying a car, you have to know what you want before you can go shopping. If you don’t, they all look alike and you end up more confused than before you left the house. The same is true of coaches. If you don’t make a list for the type of accountability partner you need, you will get confused very quickly. Here is how I determined what type of accountability partner I needed:

The first step was to identify in myself the times when I tended to move toward my old unwanted patterns. I then noted what behaviors I was seemingly repeating. I also noted what goal the behaviors were preventing me from achieving. Next to each behavior, I noted how it was preventing me from reaching my goal. I then noted what I needed from an accountability partner that would prevent me from repeating my unwanted behavior. The third step was to take all of the required action items of the accountability partner and listed them on a single sheet of paper. This became my list of requirements for finding an accountability partner. I now had a list by which I could measure each potential partner.

I could now begin my search. I reviewed a list of family and friends. However, when I reviewed what I wanted and, more importantly, what I needed, I felt it best to look outside this circle. I then reviewed my network contacts. My network included many local coaches who are all very talented, each in their own unique way. I then listed out each coach’s unique talents and abilities as I saw them. Some of them matched up nicely with my list. However, my intuition was telling me that I needed to look outside of this group as well. I have learned to trust my intuition because it is never wrong—neither is yours. It comes from deep within oneself and is always striving to protect and guide you. As a result, I eliminated the local coaches with whom I already had a relationship. I then developed a list of individuals outside of my local area with whom I had some prior contact. It did not matter that I had interacted with them on a completely different level. It only mattered that I believed they would be useful for me as an accountability partner. I then repeated the process of listing their unique abilities and measured this against my desired list of qualities. Luckily for me, I identified a potential partner from this list. I immediately contacted them. We discussed the purpose for my call and the journey that I was currently on. I asked them if they would be interested in being my accountability partner for the journey. They were flattered that I asked and stated that they would be delighted to assist me. We the discussed and arranged for an appropriate level of compensation for their time and effort. We then set guidelines for how we would work together so that I would get what I needed. Finally, we set up a set schedule of when we would interact on a consistent basis. The key here is consistency. Both of you must commit to making it happen. If either party fails to commit, you are wasting each other’s time. If you are the person that fails to commit, your partner should let you know this as soon as possible so that the two of you can determine the cause of the problem. Depending upon the reason, you may need to find another partner. Again, this is okay! It is no one’s fault; it is just that you need a more useful partnership.

If you cannot find an accountability partner at this point, you will want to consider using one of the many resources available on the Internet today. There are many established organizations that oversee the certifications and standards for the coaching industry. Some of these organizations include The International Coaching Federation, International Association of Coaches, Coachville, and CMT International. The key here is to continue searching until you find an accountability partner who is right for you.

Let’s review:

1. State your specific goals for each part in a positive manner.
2. Document your goals in your personal contract.
3. Commit to your goals by signing your personal contract.
4. Share your personal contract with an accountability partner.