I was having a telephone coaching session with one of my clients the other day. She wants to build a networking business. Pretty common.

This particular individual is one of the most gracious, warm, generous people you'll ever meet. And her self-confidence is growing everyday.

The one piece of the puzzle that's missing? Her skill at COMMANDING.

Stop and think for a moment. Who do you follow? You follow people who seem to know what they're doing. Whether it's finding your way to the rest room, building your financial fortune or anything in between, we follow those who seem to know what they're doing, and project their authority to those around them.

This particular person knows whawt she's doing. She's done it herself and knows how to teach it to others. The things she doesn't know are the things she's studying (which is why I'm her coach at the moment).

We tried an experiment. I asked her to show me how to paint a small bathroom - something she's great at but leaves me struglling with my sense of competence.

She was great. She broke it down into simple steps. But she didn't COMMAND me.

Now that's not the same as being abusive or condescending. But projecting that confidence onto another and reaching them with your sense of authority is a completely different thing than just knowing what to do.

And it's a skill. Like any skill it can be taught. I've developed my sense of command over years, as a guidance director, principal, coach, parent, etc.

It's not as hard to balance love and compassion with command and authority as you might think.

By the end of our session my friend was large and in charge. With more practice she's going to have a lot of people to lead and command...all of whom will help build her personal fortune.

Take a look at how adding some loving authority can improve whatever it is you're trying to do.

Then go and build your skills in this area. Watch how people respond.

Author's Bio: 

Larry Hochman is the founder of NO MORE HOLDING BACK. He helps individuals and groups break through self-imposed limitation and achieve success in business, careers, relationships and happiness. He is a long-time educator, counselor, author and entertainer. Join the free NO MORE HOLDING BACK support and networking community at NoMoreHoldingBack.ning.com