When I experienced a split with the girl I like last year, I was devastated tremendously. All I could think of was "I want my ex back"! I came to realize with time that irrespective of how badly I wanted to rekindle my past relationship, it wasn't going to happen without some drastic changes on my behalf.

I longed to go back into the past so I could re-live the moment when she broke up with me. I'd have handled things differently. Instead of storming off, I should have told her how much she means to me and that I did not want to go. I would have stopped yelling and instead chatted to her in a manner which she deserved. I know that I am currently single due to my own actions and I realize that going back into the past is simply not going to occur. I should live with the results of my actions.

I've got a smashing friend of mine whom I've known since we were 12 years old. He and I've had our shares of difficulties in our lives. He was the first person I thought of to call for advice. He wisely stated to me that unless I relight the fire within my past relationship, there would be no getting back together.

He further explained to me that there are various methods in getting back the individual you love but the way that we handle ourselves during this trying period of our lives, will determine if we are successful or if we fail. My friend is not an advisor, but I have always taken his advice to heart when it comes to relationships. He has been married for fifteen years and its obvious he knows what he is doing in keeping a marriage together.

A few of the people downplay breakups while informing you that it simply was not designed to be. This is ridiculous to state to anyone considering the impact a split can have on your life. Nothing compares to the pain of a broken heart and unless you have experienced it, you will not know how it feels.

My dear friend informed me that if I really loved my ex girlfriend, I should not give up on her. He also counseled that I should focus on myself for a while. This advice was tough to accept because all I wanted to do was beg her back but my friend quickly informed me that begging and pleading is only a short lived fix and I should focus on the long term affect of my actions, which caused the breakup in the first place.

Unbelievably, I have discovered the negative and positive sides to experiencing a split. I have rediscovered myself and reunited with old friends. I have begun contacting my family more frequently as well as acquired new hobbies. The negative side naturally is feeling the loneliness and despair that comes with losing someone you love.

I will always remember the moment when I finally accepted the relationship was over. I remember how initially, I tried to remind my ex girlfriend that she did not want the relationship to end. This method did not work and she probably did me a favor in allowing me to accept the truth . Accepting the reality of a break is never straightforward but when you perform this task, you will finally experience peace with the situation.

I am a guy and it proves a serious blow to my ego to be dumped by anyone. Do I feel better in accepting the breakup? No, I do not but finding peace with the situation enables me to focus on my inner devils and issues. I know my ex will not want me back until I've made much-needed improvements in my life. Do I want my ex back? Of course, I do but first, I want to get my own life back on track.

Relationship Coach,

Author's Bio: 

Certified Relationship Coach, speaker, and mentor. He is a master at helping others with their relationship problems. His goal is to help as many people as possible to be successful in their relationship.

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