An individual with narcissistic personality disorder does not view people through the lens of humanity. A narcissistic personality can only view others as he or she sees himself, which is empty, barren and devoid of the human components of empathy, conscience or love.

Everyone to an individual with narcissisticpersonality disorder is an object, merely a means to an end in order to feed the narcissisticpersonality’s false self – a mirage that bears no real substance.

When a narcissist meets another person, he or she is not thinking ‘I will be myself here’, because there is no real ‘self’. The narcissist will view the meeting as, ‘What can I gain from this person in order to be able to gain a ‘self?’

The narcissisticpersonality will ascertain whether or not this person can be secured in order to provide narcissistic supply – which is attention, sex, acclaim, status and / or resources. People who struggle to back themselves and say ‘no’, and who are seeking approval from others - ‘I have been hurt by people in the past, but If I love and give to you, you will love me’ - are people who the narcissist most easily targets.

Once the victim is securely hooked, the narcissist will use this person mercilessly to receive attention (good or bad). Additionally the narcissistic personality seeks to feel important, significant and omnipotent, and a person with poor boundary function, who will stay co-dependently attached to the narcissist, whilst being abused, grants A-grade narcissistic supply - the proof the narcissist is incredibly ‘special’ because he or she can affect another person so severely.

The narcissistic personality sees this person’s resources as an extension of him or herself.Because this person is an object to the narcissist, there is no respect for this person’s personal boundaries, and the narcissist will extract any energy, resources, success or status this person has to offer immorally and without conscience.

The narcissistic personality who has pretended to love and care, simply to secure and extract narcissistic supply, has no conscience or empathy. Once a person’s usefulness has worn outthis person becomes a liability and an encumbrance.

After the honeymoon period, that was enacted to snare a human object, the narcissist has little energy or desires to assist this individual. The narcissist’s position is to take, not to give or grant support. Inevitably as a result of being narcissistically abused the narcissist’s victim often breaks down and becomes incapacitated. This is when the inevitable devalue and discard occurs - whenthe narcissist has nothing left to gain from this person.

If you have identified that you are in a relationship with an individualwho has narcissistic personality disorder, there is a necessity to face the truth – which is the love that you thought you had with this person was never real. You are merely an object, you are prey to the narcissist, and it is imperative that you pull away, stay away and heal.

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