A Shocking Secret for Incredible Sex

Want to know the shocking secret of passionate sex? It has nothing to do with technique! The shocking secret of passionate sex is to be able to talk about it with your partner. Amazed? You shouldn’t be. That’s one of the first things any good sex therapist would tell you if the thrill has gone from your bedroom.
Why? Because talking about sex helps you understand what arouses you and turns you off. The fact that you need to talk about sex with your partner doesn’t mean that you love one another any less. That’s because, when it comes to making love, no one is able to read another person’s mind.

But what if it’s uncomfortable to talk about sex? You can begin the conversation by giving each other permission to talk about it. After all, sex is just another natural part of adult life. Whether you think sex is a great form of entertainment, a sacred act of love, or an obligation to your marriage or your partner, you have thoughts and opinions about sex. You also have values, beliefs, and experiences. And most all of that deserves to be shared.

Here are some questions that can get you and your partner talking more about sex:

• Do you remember how old you were when you started to feel sexual urges? What was that like for you?
• What sorts of love or sex scenes in movies or books really turn you on?
• What did you learn about sex at home? From religion? From school?
• What is the funniest thing you ever learned about sex?
• What do you want from sex that you haven’t asked for?
• What embarrasses you most about sex?
• Why do you like it when I make love to you?
• What part of sex is the most wonderful for you?
• If we could make love anywhere in the world, where would that be?
• How do you like to get in the mood?
• What is your favorite time of day to make love?
• How do you feel when I don't want to make love with you?
• What is the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen?

What if you want to talk, but your partner doesn’t? Then start with by asking your partner why this is difficult. Or invite them to talk about one question at a time, with permission to “pass” if they wish.

The fact is that good conversation makes for great sex. You’ll understand your partner better, and your partner will have more trust in you. All of that leads to greater intimacy, which in turn leads to more passionate sex. The way to better sex and orgasm really is between your lips.