Abused Women & Battered Men: 3 Secrets to Getting Out and Staying Out of the Doghouse
Written by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
Habits are habitual, aren’t they? This is so true for the “being battered” habit. It is as though you come to expect punishment not only when in his/her presence, but also long after your abusive partner is out of the room, out of your house or even out of your life.
If you are a survivor of domestic abuse and you long to shed yourself of the habits of being battered, you will want to practice these secrets to getting out and staying out of the doghouse.
1) When you catch yourself assuming that you are wrong or in line for impending punishment, stop and inquire, “Is that true?” Chances are, there is a thought that you also have which is as true or even more true for you.
2) Recognize, acknowledge and praise your accomplishments and your success in the ways you always longed, yet recoiled from doing.
3) In the space between your thoughts, lays the dignity...the blessing of who and what you are. Drink from this well of well-being daily or as regularly as is fitting for you.
Just because you once wore the badge of battered, doesn’t mean you earned a life sentence. To the contrary, it means you have paid your dues and now it’s time, as you desire, to cultivate the habits of being cherished. And that means by yourself and those attracted to you.
So whether you are a formally abused woman or man, you can find the exit door of the doghouse and place locks on the entry, as there is no place in there for you!
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