Action vs. Talking

I spent some time on Facebook today and saw a post by a friend asking for help with a situation. Within minutes about ten people posted they would help out, but I only saw one person asking specific information, and then telling how she would help. I’ve noticed this in “real life” too. Some people say they will help, while others just take action. Who would you rather have on your side? I’d much rather have the person who will help on my side.

Being a person of action will help build a good reputation amongst your friends. You will have a stronger social network and you will find that people will offer to help you if you have a problem.


There’s an old axiom that if you want something done, give it to a busy person. It has been my experience that this is definitely the truth. People who are busy take consistent action. When I’m busy, I find that I’m more focused, and that I’m better able to handle whatever comes my way.

Consider which type of friend you are - are you the one who wishes to help, or the one that does help? It makes a difference. It also allows you to feel a deeper sense of intimacy with the person that you have helped. That person will know that he or she can rely upon you in times of difficulty.

How can you learn to take action? A few simple steps:

Ask a person what they need. Don’t accept, “I’ll let you know,” unless you know the person will get back to you. Offer a few suggestions if they seem stuck. “Perhaps we can bring dinner by tomorrow night?” or “Would you like me to take the kids back to my house?” are some examples of asking specifically.

Being specific helps someone in the midst of grief or trauma to make a choice instead of thinking of something on their own. We've all had this happen. How many times have you thought, "I would like to try that restaurant." But when someone says, "Where do you want to go eat?" you blank. Grief makes this problem even more intense.

If they can’t come up with anything you can do to help, think of what you would need in that situation. Then offer to do that. When a person is worried or grief-stricken, he or she isn’t concentrating.

Do it. Whatever you’ve offered, take action and do it.

Action = SatisfACTION

I’m much more satisfied when I can point to specific things I’ve done rather than to things I “meant” to do. When you take action, you are showing that you care about a person.

So, the next time someone tells you they need help, don’t just offer the “If you need anything, let me know” phrase, but actually find out what they need, and do it. Take action! Good intentions are wonderful, but they do not get the job done. And, isn't helping someone what it's all about?

Author's Bio: 

Kristie Dean is a success coach who has helped several people turn their lives around after a traumatic experience. She has written a book, Reformat Your Life, which is available via