After An Extramarital Affair - Is Your Spouse Serious About Rebuilding The Marriage

The whole relationship was transformed radically after unfaithfulness. Whatever you may have assumed is called into doubt. For example there was a time when you would not have given a second thought to when your spouse informed you they'd be working overtime. With the economy being the way it is you just accepted that they were telling the truth.

But now following cheating you're not so sure. Whenever the husband or wife claims they are working overtime your mind begins racing along. Is your mate telling the truth or are they up to their old tricks? At this moment there is no way to be sure. You want to however what happened before is making that extremely difficult.

Your spouse says they fully understand your concerns and will do whatever is possible to alleviate them so as to fix the marriage following infidelity. That is fine however words are meaningless. The question is just how committed are they to follow through.

There are a few guidelines you can use to evaluate exactly how serious they really are.

1. Clearness

Following an extramarital relationship among the things which must change is openness. In short the unfaithful significant other should be much more straight up in their dealings with you. Secretiveness (which is a vital part of carrying on an extramarital relationship) must come to an end. In the event your mate says they're going to be working overtime they must prove it to you through their actions.

That can denote everything from calling you periodically while they are still in the office to showing you their pay stub which will confirm the amount of hours they spent on the job. It may well involve doing both. That may sound like overkill but the the thing to remember is following cheating your mate has got to show that they are genuine regarding their interactions with you.

2. Really Getting It

Whenever you convey your apprehensions to your spouse after an affair do you detect that they are listening attentively are are truly willing to do whatever is needed to take away those doubts? Or do you get the feeling they can't wait for you to shut up? Sometimes it does not have to be body language. Their words are very dismissive or they are not paying attention at all. You sense they are somewhere else and are just going through the motions until you finish saying what you have to say.

Other times it's concerning the regularity of effort. Your significant other may start off like there's no tomorrow doing what needs to get done to help repair the marriage following unfaithfulness. Yet somewhere along the way their efforts become more inconsistent or simply stops completely. That could be a good sign that their determination isn't what it really should be.