The lights of the season remind us of the warmth of friends and family gatherings.

For those who can't make it home or may be spending the holiday alone, the seasonal celebrations can amplify feelings of loneliness.

If you feel lonely, know that it's okay. Try going into it and really feel the loneliness.

Like boredom, anger or jealousy, you'll discover that it's just another feeling. Accept the loneliness as much as you can and allow the sensations in your body to arise without tensing against them.

Notice and Observe

Upon closer observation, you'll find that loneliness doesn't exist. It's just another illusion of the mind.

You desperately want to cling to something or to somebody, just so that you won't feel lonely. So you call up a friend and feel better. You pretend to yourself, "This man or woman is truly wonderful."

This illusion gives you a certain comfort, but it cannot create a reality where all fear disappears.

Behind the illusion, is a pain in your heart, because you know that all relationships are temporary. Tomorrow they won't be here and you'll be faced with yourself once again.

Just the word “lonely” feels like a wound, or something hurtful, absent or missing that needs to be healed.

The word “aloneness” doesn’t have the same connotation. Aloneness simply means wholeness or completeness. No one else is needed to complete you.

What To Do With Loneliness?

It's not that you must forget your loneliness, it is that you must become more deeply aware of your aloneness.

I've learned to embrace and really enjoy my aloneness. I'm comfortable with the quiet, peaceful relationship I made with myself. It's a place where there is no one to depend on or cling to, where you ruthlessly look at yourself and you're no longer afraid of what you see. In this aloneness, I find tremendous power, strength and clarity. It feels like I'm growing up.

We come to the earth alone, and we'll leave alone. Even the cup of coffee you enjoy with a friend is really enjoyed by you, and you alone.

When you become more fully conscious of your aloneness, you'll find that it is a beautiful place to be. It becomes your freedom from the fear of being lonely.

Watch your mind, be aware. Become more and more conscious, so that finally you are only conscious of yourself. You will discover a fullness overflowing with the true reality of existence.

When you truly get to know aloneness your loneliness will disappear.

Author's Bio: 

Ken LaDeroute is a lifestyle design coach and founder of Clarity Mind Institute and Affirmation Power Music for Better Outcomes.

With more than 30 years of real-world experience, Ken coaches individuals and corporate clients to clarify their vision of their best life and facilitates them achieving it with greater ease and wisdom.

Such insight has been gained through studying ancient wisdom traditions, traveling on tour as a musician, running profitable franchise businesses and teaching at the university level to inspire young minds to fulfill their highest potential.

And asked about his personal life, Ken admits he is "blessed beyond words." Anyone can step back and see that Ken has managed to create an amazingly abundant life full of financial freedom, creative expression, heartfelt friends, universal spiritual practices and day-to-day adventures. He explains that it was the "clarity of my intentions that helped me understand, allow and receive exactly what I had always hoped for" in this life.

So Ken coaches every client from his deepest truth – clarity is power. He utilizes his talent in music, as a meditation teacher, astute businessman and expert coach to facilitate each client on their individual journey towards self-actualization.

Ken is a certified professional coach affiliated with the International Coaching Academy and the International Coaching Federation. His ability to successfully coach clients from around the world has made him a popular coach in Europe, Asia as well as North America.

Contact Ken:

Clarity Mind Institute
20 Ravenscroft Drive

Asheville, NC 28801

Phone: 404-NOW-MIND (404-669-6463)
Email: ken (at) claritymind (dot) com
Skype: kenlad1