Am I doing alright in bed? How can I tell?

We get turned on through our senses – seeing, feeling, touching, smelling, tasting, hearing – and through thought or fantasy. When we begin active sexual movements, we feel the flow of pleasurable feelings centering in the genitals and abdomen. The entire body is gradually flooded with warmth, generally increasing in intensity and reaching toward a peak. In both sexes, heart rate, breathing rate and flushing (if it occurs) continue to increase.

The tension in the musculature increases (in involuntary as well as voluntary muscles). During arousal, there are changes in blood pressure, pulse, and respiration rate; and vasocongestion or engorgement with blood; muscle tension. Sexual arousal is first noticeable as the blood supply to the abdomen and pelvic area increases. In the woman, sexual arousal is usually manifested by vaginal lubrication, blood engorgement, and sweating of the vaginal walls.

In simple words: listen to the sounds she makes, the speed of her breathing, the movements of her body especially her pelvic, as well as physiological changes to her vaginal walls for signals you are doing the ‘right’ things in arousing her.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit or email