Amazing Grace

I believe in miracles. I look at her face every day. Her name is Grace…and she is our miracle. Living life from a wheelchair, and knowing each day the physical limitations I have, it was no surprise to me when doctors confirmed that for me to go through pregnancy and a natural childbirth would be dangerous. It was no surprise, but it was devastating to face the reality that I would never experience this. When I met and married my husband, Michael, as we began our life together, it broke my heart to know that I could not give this wonderful man a child. But then I learned some things (and remembered some other things that I already knew, but had forgotten). I learned that families are made all sorts of ways. I learned that where there’s a will, there’s a way. I learned that the sure-fire way to get me to accomplish something is to tell me “no.” And, I learned that none of us are alone and that we are really all here for each other in order to make things possible. In today’s age of technology, awareness and acceptance, there are lots of different ways that families come to be. After being married three years, Michael and I knew that it was time to add a “pitter-patter” of little feet to our life. We began to talk about our personal circumstances, what our challenges would be, what we had to offer, and what made sense for us and what would make for the easiest transition for both us and for the child. We loved each other so much, and had so much love spilling over that we could give to a child. We had an extended family and lots of friends who we also knew would welcome a child with open arms, and love and support them as much as we did. We had good, stable jobs, a home, two dogs and a cat, and the desire to raise a good person and to give a child a chance at a life they may not have otherwise had. Because of my disability, we made the choice to adopt an older child. The care of a baby or infant would have been difficult for me. So much of the physical responsibility would have fallen on Michael, which to me, felt unfair. And, I knew myself and the fact that my limited ability to care for a baby would have made me feel terribly left-out. We decided that a child somewhere between four and six years old would work best for us. So, now that we knew what we were searching for, we began to talk to lots of people and to investigate our options. I believe that when you are going through this process, the most important thing you can do is to listen to the little voice in your head. For us, when we found the thing that was right for us, we knew it in our hearts. Much like the finality of becoming pregnant, we knew that our little girl was in China and that all we needed to do was to go and get her. A word of caution…once we got that feeling, this was not a fast process. Because we were adopting an older child, much of the process was expedited because she was a “Waiting Child”, but it still took 10 months from beginning to end. By the time we traveled to China, I definitely felt like a pregnant woman who was four weeks overdue! With any route we chose for adoption, we knew that my disability would be scrutinized. We knew it, but when it actually happened, it was agonizing. Initially, we were denied for adoption. This got my dander up in no way I had ever experienced. By then, I KNEW my daughter was in China waiting for me, and “No” was simply not acceptable. This was when my faith in human-kind was renewed. I am not a pessimist by any means, in fact, I think that I am an optimist to a fault. But what we experienced over the next 10 months taught me so much about kindness, generosity, and faith. We found people who were willing to believe in us. We found people who stuck their necks out for us and put themselves on the line for us. We found people everywhere who were moved to action for us. Individuals at our adoption agency became our family. They worked the phones and made miracles happen. There was an overabundance of paperwork to be done, and documentation to be sent off for from all over the country. Things had to be notarized, certified and authenticated. We definitely felt the urgency of it at all times, so we worked through it as fast as we could. I called people all over the country trying to find ways to speed things up, and as soon as anyone found out what we were doing, they fell over themselves to help us…people we had never met and would never meet. In the end, we got our family. We got the call September 30, 2006. We had our approval to travel to China and bring our little girl home. From that moment, it was fast and furious. Travel to China for me was very challenging, logistically. The ADA does not exist in China. We thought about every tiny detail…twice. We made travel plans quickly, but thoroughly. Luckily, we had asked my parents early on in the adoption process if they would come with us when it came time to go to China to share the experience. Having them there was priceless, emotionally. It was the greatest moment of our lives, and they were there to see it. But, we were also incredibly fortunate that they happened to be there. It was an amazing trip and an experience I would not trade for the world. But to say that it was difficult would be an under-statement. We boarded the plane at 7:40am October 26, 2006. We traveled over 24 hours to Beijing. Grace was in Beijing when we arrived, but the rules of adoption there state that you have to receive the child in the province of the orphanage that has custody of the child. So, two days later, we traveled to Zhengzhou, capital city of the Henan province. The morning after we arrived there, the four of us waited in our hotel room, quietly, for the phone to ring. At about 10:15am, we got word that Grace had arrived. We rode the elevator down to the lobby, the doors opened, and I saw her. Sitting on the floor, knees tucked up to her chin, hair in a pony tail, everything she owned in a backpack next to her on the floor. My breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t believe she was there in the same room as us. It was like meeting a celebrity…we had seen pictures of her, and had heard about her life, but now she was there in front of us. I’d been coached by our Guide on how to say, “I’m your Mommy” in Chinese. I rolled up next to her, made my best attempt at the phrase…and the room erupted in laughter. It was the perfect moment, and I will always remember every single detail. It was the moment we met…our Amazing Grace.