While human beings have the ability to experience a wide range of emotions, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels comfortable doing so. As a result of this, there are going to be people who only allow themselves to experience certain emotions.

Two Parts

Yet, even if one does feel comfortable experiencing a certain emotion, it doesn’t mean that other people will realise this. What this comes down to is that there are going to be the emotions that one allows themselves to experience, and then there will be the emotions that they feel comfortable expressing around others.

Now, this could mean that one has a good connection with what is taking place within them, and that they allow themselves to express how they feel around others. One is then not going to have the need to ignore how they feel, and neither will they need to hide how they feel from others.

Emotional Containment

As one is able to embrace how they feel, it is likely to show that that they have emotional strength. This then gives them the ability to be with how they feel without being overwhelmed by what is taking place within them.

If one didn’t have this ability, then it would be a lot harder for them to be able to do this. In fact, there is a strong chance that it wouldn’t happen, or if it did, it would be something that rarely takes place.

Emotional Expression

Through being able to contain what is taking place within them, it will be a lot easier for them to express how they feel. They will be able to talk about how they feel, as opposed to losing control of themselves.

What this will then show is that their mind and emotions are working together; with the former giving them the ability to talk about what is going on for them. However, this doesn’t mean that one will simply open up to anyone.

The Right People

There are naturally going to be people who one will feel more comfortable opening up to. In general, this is likely to be their friends and family, for instance, and there could even be moments when they open up to strangers.

If one was to simply open up to anyone, they would be setting themselves up to experience unnecessary problems. But even when one doesn’t open up about how they feel, how they feel can still have an effect on their behaviour.


For example, one might find that they feel anxious, and this could be because they have an exam coming up. This could then cause them to look into if they are fully prepared for what will soon take place.

Thus, through feeling this way, it will remind them of what they need to do before their exam. If they didn’t feel this way, it could cause them to overlook what needs to be done, and one might then fail their exam.


Alternatively, one might find that they feel guilty, and this could mean that they have done something wrong. What this could show is that one forgot to do something, or perhaps they were unable to meet their partner for a meal that had been planned.

Therefore, through feeling guilty, it will allow them to do something about what has taken place. Yet, if one didn’t feel this way and they simply overlooked what had happened, it could create the impression that they don’t care.

The Ideal

This shows how one’s emotions can have a positive effect on their life when they are able to embrace how they feel without being overwhelmed. One can then utilise this source of information.

On the other hand, when one only allows themselves to experience certain emotions, they are going to miss out of a lot of the information that is within them. One could then be in a position where they are able to experience guilt but they don’t allow themselves to get angry, or vice versa.

Out of Control

Along with this, one could end up being taken out by how they feel, and it will then be a challenge for them to maintain their centre. Instead of being able to contain how they feel and to do what is necessary; they could end up feeling down or doing something they will later regret, for instance.

If they were to feel guilty, they could end up punishing themselves for what has taken place, and this is not going to do them any good. It will be important for them to look into what they can do and what they can’t, and not to suffer unnecessarily.

Another Experience

But if they were to get angry, they could end up losing control and causing harm to someone (or something). One will be able to feel strong through being angry, but how they feel will soon subside and they will have to face the consequences of their actions.

At the same time, one could have the tendency to disconnect from their anger, and this could cause them to come across as easy going. It could be said that there is a greater chance of someone ignoring their anger in today’s world than there is of them being controlled by it.

Black and White

Anger is often seen as a bad thing, and as something that causes more harm than good. But while this is something that a lot of people believe, it doesn’t mean that it is the complete truth.

One way of looking at anger would be to say that it is neutral; it all depends on what someone does when they feel angry. Clearly, it is not a good idea for one to be controlled by their anger, and it is not going to be a good idea for them to disconnect from it either.

Emotional Strength

When one disconnects from their anger, it can cause them to be walked over, and this is going to cause them to suffer. In order for one to be able to embrace their anger and to use it in a productive manner, they will need to be able to contain this emotion.

So, if one disconnects from their anger, it can show that they don’t feel comfortable with it. They may believe that if they were to get angry, they would end up losing control of themselves.

A Build Up

It is then a case of putting up with bad behaviour and allowing other people to take advantage of them, or embracing how they feel and causing harm. What this can then show is that one is carrying a lot of anger within them.

And if they have been this way for a long as they can remember, it is not going to be much of a surprise. The longer this goes on, the more anger will build up inside them, and one may even have had moments when they have lost control.


There is the chance that is wasn’t safe for them to get angry when they were younger, and this is then why they behave in this way. The anger within them can be the result of what has taken place in their adult years, and it can be due to what happened when they were younger.

If one can relate to this and they want to develop the ability to contain their anger, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place within them and to gradually work through it.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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