Another approach on the path to a calm mind is something I refer to as the C.A.L.M© Approach. You will read about this approach in a minute, but first, let’s talk further about the busy mind. A busy or monkey mind kicks into high gear when surrounded by events and situations that seem to fuel our stress – relationship arguments, communication breakdowns, tight deadlines, work office conflicts, perfectionistic expectations, job insecurity, unexpected events, poor decisions about finances or in dating, etc.

Just as stressful events can create arousal, keeping you immersed and revolving in the monkey mind (mind chatter); it can also erode your health if you are not paying attention to your warning signs. I have had clients share they did not know how stressed they were until they landed in the hospital because of an ulcer or s/he ‘came down’ with a series of colds.

What begins as situational stress can quickly mount into chronic stress. Even though all stress is not bad (e.g., heightens your alertness in danger and preparedness during times of uncertainty), but it can, if not managed, be insidious and deleterious to your mental, emotional, physical, and yes even spiritual health and well-being.
Chronic stress can sneak up and unknowingly affect your sleep, appetite, mood, judgment/decision-making and manifests as overt and subtle physical symptoms, such as bodily aches and pains. Further, correlations exists between stress and health-related issues, such as weight gain, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, digestive problems, hair loss, stomachaches, tense muscles and even be an participant in acute or chronic pain symptoms. Tension or stress creates declining spirals in our sense of well-being and activates the chatter mind.
A calmer mind keeps you open to possibilities and purposeful in your approach to handling everyday situations to allow you to be more balanced in your responses. Conserving your energy is essential when experiencing stressful situations. Calmness of mind also provides an avenue for connecting with your inner real (soul) self and God. A calm mind sets the stage for greater attunement to God’s will and direction in your life; thereby finding creative, inspired solutions to life’s challenges.

A way to cultivate a calm, purposeful approach to life’s adventures is to think and breathe…. C.A.L.M©.
You can actually have an “inner-talk phrase” you repeat frequently to yourself when feeling stressed creating a circling monkey mind, something like – I am calm, or I breathe in calm and I breathe out calm, or I breathe in and breath out calmness. Be Calm. These types of statement can calm the mind and body while reflecting on and engaging in what C.A.L.M© refers too.

C.A.L.M© is an acronym and approach/tool I developed to create balance and movement on the path of gaining self-mastery and inner soul connection for my clients experiencing arousal, a monkey mind due to stressful situations and experiences in their life. Take a situation in your life and try the following:

C – Consistently consider what’s deeply important to you in life. Make a mental note or write it down. There is something powerful in writing out your thoughts. What are your core values? What makes you tick? How do you stay connected to your higher source in the midst of stressful situations in your life? Discard those things that are not value based.

A – Ask yourself about what you do and do not have control over. That which you have little control over, turn it over to Almighty God, by saying – God you know far more than me about this situation, and I surrender it to your guidance and will. Help me to keep my mind and heart stayed upon you and open to possibilities. Keep me alert to your guidance.

L – Let go by leaving behind what’s not working. After quickly assessing what is not working, engage in what I like to call, slow deep “kind” breathing, telling yourself what you are letting go – I’m letting this go _______. This includes surrendering the situation to Christ, God or Higher Power. Be willing to have conversations with yourself about things you know you need to release, such as – Almighty God guide and direct my ways. Help me to let this situation go and keep me alert and attuned to your guidance. Fill me with your peace. Then move back into your inner talk-phrase, “I breathe in calmness and breathe out calmness.”

M – Mend fences and manage your stress mindfully. Mindfulness is a technique, which can help us to be less attached and reactive, and be more calm and connected to the deeper meaning of the experience. This is achieved through engaging in a meditative practice of your choosing. There are times when we need to ask for forgiveness (mend fences) or make a course correction in our thoughts, actions and deeds, do so.

When stressful experiences create an arousal monkey mind response in us, it takes time to calm down due to the release of cortisol and adrenaline in the body. The more you consistently apply this C.A.L.M© Approach along with a 10-minute meditation practice of your choosing, a calmer mind will be within your reach, moving you further along on your path of self-mastery over the monkey (chatter) mind. Remember a calmer mind leads to greater inner and Higher (God) connection and fulfillment.

Questions for Mastering Life’s Adventures:

What are your warning signs that indicate that you are overly stressed?

What would be two positive spiritual outcomes from having a calm mind?

Be Your Best,
Dr. Judith

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Judith Holder coaches and collaborates with leaders, professionals, public figures, young adults, and people from all walks of life to support them in realizing their life’s aspirations and ….soul resilience. Judith is a psychologist, author and coach, and has specialized training in person/life, professional, executive, leadership development and business coaching from UNC Charlotte Business Coaching Program™, Mentorcoach™, CoachU™, Fast Track Coaching™, and Physician Coaching Institute™. She enjoys humor and exhibits a holistic, straightforward approach to her coaching. She is perceptive to her clients’ needs and collaborative in working with them to achieve optimal results. Visit her websites at and