A fundamental corner stone to forgiveness is an apology. No matter what the situation is that you find yourself immersed in, when there is a hurt involved of any degree a simple “I apologize” is an excellent starting point. A true apology cannot undo the harm that has been done but it can restore dignity to the victim. Without apologizing you have no right to forgiveness.

Do not be fearful of apologizing, believing it to be a sign of weakness. Apologizing is a sign of courage no an act of submissiveness or the handing over of power to another. When a hurtful act is committed, the aggressor usurped the power of the victim. It is only fitting that he or she reverse roles by sincerely expressing their sorrow for acting inappropriately. To not do so is to compound the offense. Lacking courage to apologize by taking responsibility for your actions is a weakness a response to a fear you might have of losing control.

Valuable reasons for and benefits of apologizing include the following:

1) Justice and fairness in this physical world extends to apologizing any time we hurt others. It is a duty, a privilege and a gift.

2) Apologizing in a sincere way is an opportunity to grow more spiritual by practicing humility. Realizing we are not perfect and that we must take responsibility for our actions authenticates whom we are.

3) Two very precious words: “I apologize” is a gift to the victim. These two words show him or her they are worthy of an apology – validates their value. The victim’s respect and esteem, which was robed by the offense, is restored.

4) Relationships are damaged by hurt and misunderstandings. An apology can heal an afflicted relationship because this simple act expresses the relationship’s importance to you. Its importance is the key to you making amends. By accepting responsibility and showing respect for the injured party, we may actually strengthen the relationship.

5) When you recognize and accept your weaknesses, you'll be better able to do the same for others. People are imperfect, mistakes will be made, imbalance will occur and apologies will have to be accepted to restore harmony.

6) We allow our victim to grow spiritually by offering the gift of forgiveness to us. This is empowerment. Not everyone will have the courage to accept an apology. Forgiveness is a character strength that comes with practice. Embrace and keep an open mind to an unaccepted apology as much as an accepted one. By recognizing that we have acted inappropriately, we are beginning to act appropriately and mend our ways.

7) By making up for the misconduct of an offense, we free ourselves from remorse, regret, guilt, and unhappiness. Instead of being ashamed of our negative behavior, we will become proud of the lesson we learned and the positive energy it produced by apologizing.

Remember these points when you have been wronged and then apologized to. Keep calm and lead with an open mind. People make mistakes. Be open to them offering you their gift of courage to admit that they were wrong and want to mend their ways.

An apology isn't complete unless we take all of the following steps:

1) Apologize quickly as it means more to the one you wronged and is more likely to come from your heart.

2) Admit what you did and take responsibility for your behavior. It is okay to make a mistake; perfection is not a pre-requisite in life.

3) Understand what you have done and the reasons for your behavior and be sincere by speaking from the heart and feeling the victim's pain.

4) Allow your victim the opportunity to vent their feelings. Leave judgment at the door. Empathize with their pain

5) Make up for the harm you've done by taking corrective action as soon as you can.

6) Learn everything you can from the experience.

7) If your victim accepts your apology, be humble and accept their pardon with gratitude.

During our journey, we have seen how our mistakes and misbehaviors provide us with the valuable opportunity to become a better person. We are avid learners during our lives. In a perfect world there would be no reason for apologies - but is that practical? So make it a goal that with perseverance we can strive in every way to be the best as possible, don’t you think?

At least it is worth a try!

Author's Bio: 

Tamara Elizabeth is a certified self love and transformational coach and Master Motivator of women in transition. She empowers women to look into the mirror and reflect the fabulously lovable selves. She is the author of an inspirational book for women titled,” Fabulously Fifty and Reflecting It! –Discovering My Lovable Me. All women are invited to join her as a guest on her radio talk show – Talk To Tamara Today. This is a platform where women in transition and professionals coaching them have a chance to share their journeys and learn from others how to heal their wounds and jump back into the ring. She strives to find the humor in life and you will find your experience very positive – the ride of your life.