Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “You’re comparing apples and oranges?” What exactly does that mean? Essentially, it means that comparing those two fruits is useless because they are so different. Yes, apples and oranges are both fruits, but that’s where the similarity ends. They look and taste very differently, and are even eaten in different ways. Try taking a bite out of an orange. Not too tasty, huh?

People are continuously comparing themselves to others. Here are some examples:

“He has a way cooler car than I do! What I wouldn’t give to drive his Porsche Cayman.”
“She can get away with wearing those shorts; look at her legs! I have to wear Capris.”
“If only we could live in a house instead of an apartment. I can practically cook from the living room.”
“I wish I were as beautiful as Angelina Jolie; instead I look like Melissa McCarthy.”
“Why can’t I have a boyfriend that looks like Ryan Gosling instead of Steve Buscemi?”

And on it goes. There’s no end to the comparisons. But beware, there’s a Dark Side to the Comparison Game. When you compare yourself to someone else, you really don’t know what you’re doing. Do you truly know the real person to whom you’re comparing yourself? You only know the edited version. Let’s face it; rarely does anyone expose their real self. People show you what they want you to see. You might see a happy, successful comedian, but inside, he might be so depressed, he’s taking drugs, and contemplating suicide. A perfect example is Robin Williams, a brilliant comedian, and actor who took his own life.

Not long ago I listened to model Cameron Russell on a TED talk. Her topic was Beauty. One of the most relevant things she said during her speech was, “And if you’re ever wondering, ‘If I have thinner thighs and shinier hair, will I be happier?’ you just need to meet a group of models, because they have the thinnest thighs and the shiniest hair, and the coolest clothes, and they’re the most physically insecure women probably on the planet.” If you watched a model on the runway, you might wish you looked like her. But you’re only seeing the wrapping; you have no idea what’s inside. Comparing yourself to another person devalues your worth, and creates self-doubt. It’s a lose/lose situation.

Stop comparing apples and oranges. Be the You you’re meant to be. Enjoy who you are, and work with what you have.

“Why compare yourself to others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” – Unknown.

Author's Bio: 

Submitted by Rossana Snee, MFT. Follow her on Twitter @askjoshsmom, Askjoshsmom.com, and https://www.facebook.com/askjoshsmom. She is available in a therapeutic capacity, and also for speaking engagements. Ask about An Afternoon with Josh's Mom!