Is it really as difficult for smart successful women to get married as it is for a rich men to get to heaven or a camel to go through the eye of a needle? Why does it seem easier for women to achieve success in the board room than it is to find love in the bedroom? Are the same qualities that make you successful turning off the men you want to marry?

Lately, several dating advice websites have been blogging about the difficulty smart and successful women have in attracting men. Evan Marc Katz has one of the top blogging sites in the area of dating. One of his most popular blog posts which attracted almost 500 comments was "Why don't men like smart, strong and successful women".

Evan says that "when a man goes out with a woman, he's not as concerned with whether she's articulate and on track to make partner at the law firm. That's what women want in men and they assume it's of equal importance to them". He says that what men are looking for in a girlfriend is "what they CAN'T get from their business associates. Warmth, affection, nurturing, thoughtfulness. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging."

So is the problem being smart and successful or is it something else?

Sharla, an attractive professional woman with a master's degree, was single and frustrated being in go- nowhere relationships with men who did not appreciate her. During our Dating for True Love Intensive course she met her true love. She now constantly talks about their loving connection and enjoyment of each other's company. Recently, they became engaged, have plans to marry next spring and are talking about moving in together.

There is just one problem. No engagement ring. She was hoping he would surprise her, but 3 months after the proposal still no ring. And he is really wanting to move forward with their plans to move in together.

What did Sharla do? She researched rings, found the ring she wanted, researched jewelry stores that had 0% financing programs and was preparing her speech about how he could get her a ring. She had it all figured out. Plus deep inside, although she knew it wasn't true, she couldn't help but think - what kind of a guy doesn't get his fiancée a ring? Why do I have to do all this?

The truth is that Sharla was not comfortable moving in with him and being engaged without a ring. To her, the ring symbolized their union, their commitment and it was important to her. Let's face it every girl wants a ring!!
So what is going on here?

Is it because she is successful so he does not think he needs to get her a ring? Is he a "bad guy", selfish or cheap? No and no. He is just not aware that it is so important to her.

What is the solution for Sharla?

To take matters into her own hands and figure how to get herself that ring? Again, no. She just needs to tell him how she feels, why the ring is important to her and TRUST HIM to make it happen. Even if that means being a little patient.

So is this a smart, successful woman problem?

The truth is that smart and successful people know how to go after and get what they want. Sharla wanted a ring and it was easy for her to figure out how to get it. She probably even felt like she was being helpful. But in this case being helpful can make her fiancée feel, well, like less of a man.

If you are not used to allowing someone else to do things for you, sometimes it can seem easier to just do it yourself. But then you become resentful. What you really need to do is communicate how you feel.

So are women who are not successful in the working world subject to this type of helpfulness. Sure they are. And it probably does not work for them either.

The questions to ask yourself are not are you too smart and successful to find love? Do you need to dumb it down to attract a man?

The questions to ask are: Are you loving, caring, forgiving, and affectionate? Do you utilize loving, honest communicate to ask for what you need and share how you feel? Do you give him the benefit of the doubt and the space to allow him show up for you in his timing not yours?

Quality men are not petty and competitive. They love that you are successful and are proud of you when succeed.

So then why was this blog so popular? And why are you reading this article right now?

Is it because there really is a problem for successful women finding love? Are there more single professional women in the world than single people in other demographics? Doubtful!

Maybe smart and successful women just read a lot!

And because you have an affinity for learning, because you read a lot, you have the capacity for personal growth. Therefore you have the capacity to be a more loving, caring partner to a really quality man! The man who is going to be grateful to have found someone as amazing as you!

So wondering what happened to Sharla? Well she waited until he brought up the subject of moving in together again. She explained that she was looking forward to it, but one thing was bothering you. a little. Before she could even finish, he said "you want a ring". They spent a romantic weekend blissfully in love ring shopping and are on schedule for their wedding.

So congratulations on being a successful woman! You should be proud of yourself. Your true love, who is waiting for you right now, is going to be proud of you too!

Author's Bio: 

If you are single and worried that you’ll never find true love or you are losing faith that your special person is ever coming... Pamela Vandervoort will help you find true and lasting love.

Pamela received her master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and her Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Studies from the University of San Diego.  Pamela can be found conducting workshops throughout California and is the owner of two successful Companies the “Art of Living Consciously” and “My Dating”.

For the last 5 years Pamela has been helping women get over the dating hump, stop wasting time, and find lasting love.