Are You Asking the Right People for Relationship or Marriage Advice?

Would you go to an auto mechanic to ask for advice about the frequent chest pains you've been experiencing?
How about seeking out your favorite hair stylist to have her help you determine why your fuel tank is leaking?
If you're looking to get a large return on a real estate investment deal that you just learned about, would you run to your nearest butcher to have him look over the paperwork?

You see, to most of us, it wouldn't make any rational sense to do any of those things, would it? So why is it that a large majority of people tend to seek out marriage and relationship advice from someone who is not an expert, or who doesn't have the type of successful relationship that that person wants? This mindset has always fascinated me.

I attended a business training in Chicago when I had first started my own business almost ten years ago. During that training, the speaker shared several statistics regarding the lack of success of most small businesses. I thought I was going to learn some very specific business skills and strategies to get my business up and running quickly and effectively, so that I wouldn't become another "statistic.”
While we did spend some time on skills and tactics, a large portion of the business training dealt with mindset and perseverance. Turns out, mindset and perseverance are one of the key distinctions that separate many successful business owners from those that fail within the first five years.

So, what does all this talk about business training have to do with the success of your marriage and relationship? Mindset and perseverance are also key contributors to a successful relationship, with mindset being the heavier influence.

Who you seek out for help with, advice on, or as a sounding board for your relationship challenges, heavily influences your mindset towards that relationship. And, unfortunately most individuals seek out people who are least qualified and least effective in helping you achieve the relationship and marriage you want.

Going to your best girlfriend to discuss your frustration with your husband's work ethic is only a good idea if that girlfriend is either a relationship expert, or has a relationship you aspire to have. If that same friend has constant struggles with her own marriage and has barely been able to stand to look at her spouse over the last six years, the relationship advice you'll get from her may not serve to help you.

That business seminar I attended almost ten years ago provided me with one of the greatest success strategies I have ever received: Seek out advice ONLY from people who have what you want. This especially applies to your marriage and most intimate relationship.

There are a lot of people who are happy to lend you relationship advice because they care about you and most of the time, their intentions are great. However, if you really want effective relationship help and advice, you want to stick with someone who has been through the trenches and who now has the type of relationship you want for yourself.