All relationships are complex. However, when one partner becomes intensely and chronically critical of the other, it becomes a “toxic” relationship. A toxic relationship is when a person essentially drains the life out of their partner with their criticism and discontent, thus killing the joy and pleasure they enjoy together, This can occur in any type of interpersonal relationship, such as with a family member, a spouse, a friend, a girlfriend, a lover, or with anyone else in our social and/or occupational circles.

Toxic relationships are harmful to your health: physically, emotionally and psychologically. They are totally radioactive ... the word "toxic" is like an arrowhead, an element that is loaded with poison to kill the enemy ... and often that enemy is ourselves.

"Do not let anyone cause problems in the group, because that would hurt, would be like a bitter plant, the poison! "...

Toxic people do not always know they are being toxic. In many cases, the toxic person has merely acquired the same attitude as someone around them, so we must be careful.

“Whoever walks with the wise will grow wise, but the companions of fools will suffer harm ...”

We should ask ourselves these questions while in a relationship: Who do I become when I am with my partner? How do I feel about my behavior when I’m with my partner? Do I repeat learned patterns of behavior? We need to be aware of the signals that are triggered in our body when a relationship has become toxic, and once these are known to us we can make the right decisions.

If you are constantly feeling sad, frustrated, scared, angry, guilty or resentful, and experiencing physical or psychological harm due to the things your partner says ... Wake up and run! You are in a toxic relationship.

"If you are unhappy, you must take action "...

Unfortunately, there will always be toxic people in your life.

Here are some examples:

The Manipulators – those who try to make you feel guilty with their sorrow.
The Narcissistic – those who believe the world revolves around them.
The Authoritarians – those who pose as judges, rather than saviors.
The Pessimistic – those self-destructive people who see everything in black.
The Dream Killer – those who are afraid of change, and will try and convince you that you can not accomplish anything.

The list can be endless, and not only are there combinations of the above, there are also mutations.

"Toxic people, generally wield power over vulnerable and very insecure people. Relationships of this type are not unique to young people. They are common at any age and, among the elderly, they are really exhausting and difficult." Nelly Rojas

Those with low self-esteem will often find themselves in a toxic relationship because they tend to think that whatever relationship they were lucky enough to develop is the best they can get out of life. They believe they can “rescue” the other person and change them from themselves.

In these cases, a person has purposefully assumed the role of a victim to these toxic people because they are alone and desperately seeking love and company for they fear of loneliness. In others cases, a person could just be bored and feel they need to fit in socially somewhere as they are afraid of change and taking care of themselves.

Know that we can learn from toxic relationships and see the bright side of them; we can learn from them and we can get out of them. They are not eternal. Pain is part of our journey. It is inevitable but also temporal; it’s a passing thing which we can control. Being in a toxic relationship is a matter of choice. If we learn to love ourselves, forgive, and manage our anger and frustration, we will avoid temptation.

The important thing is to recognize this type of relationship. The signals are clear. We must overcome emotional co-dependency because we are valuable, unique and we can exist without a toxic person.

There is no need to idealize the toxic person. They are human, and feel as much as we feel. It is important to do separate activities in every relationship because everyone should lead their own lives. There is always a positive side, so focus on it! Establish the appropriate forms of co-existence, and stay alert to the signs, as toxic relationships are addictive and contagious.

"Understand that the pain and the problems we face today are only a tiny speck in a universe of possibilities ".

Author's Bio: 

“Z U here” is a unique online blog and community network with access to professional assiatance; committed to help understand relationship’s complexities and encourage each partner’s personal growth.

“We are committed to the mission of helping couples achieve healthy relationships. To be happy with others, we must first be happy with ourselves.”